Hurray!

School is over and done with. I'm glad that I have free time now. There are a few things that I want to do over Christmas break.

1. Start an exercise routine. I want to exercise everyday to get in shape. I'm going to start lifting weights and going on walks as well as getting back into my martial arts training.

2. Spend time with family. I have a great family and have missed out on spending time with them this semester.

3. Hang out with friends.

4. Catch up on things around the house. I want to clean my closet out and organize my room.

What is the meaning of all this?

Here I am blogging and trying to figure out the answers to some questions I have. I should be studying. But I'm not motivated since I don't see much point in school for me.

What is the purpose of life? When I look around I guess that it is making money. Money drives everything in our culture. People don't go to school to learn, they go so they can make more money. Too many people never do the things that make them happy because those things don't make money. Life is supposed to be about relationships. Our relationship with God and with other people. Life is about enjoying it.

What does God want me to do? How doknow God's will? How do I hear and understand it?

What should I do with my life? What are my gifts?

How much advice should I listen to? Who's advice should I listen to?

I'm just trying to figure this all out while waiting for the future. I want to live in the present more. I hate it when I am busy with homework and can't hang out with my family.

Sleep

I'm a sleepy head. I usually go to bed around 10 or 11pm and wake up anywhere from 6 to 7am. I don't lose much sleep during the school year. I might stay up an extra hour or two. Since my middle name is procrastination, I had to procrastinate and not keep up with my online history class. Last week I had a deadline to make. I had seven more chapters to take and seven tests to take by midnight Friday. So Thursday night I stayed up to read three chapters and take the tests. I drank two cups of coffee. I am convinced that caffeine is a drug. I don't regularly drink coffee. I ended staying up until 4:15am. I would have stayed up to take one more test but I had classes the next day. I drank another cup of coffee in the morning. I was surprised that I didn't crash during my chemistry lab in the afternoon. I managed to take two more tests during the day. Then I went to karate and I ended up crashing during fight class. It was pitiful. I was so tired I could barely move. But I forced myself. That evening I took the last two tests and then went to bed. I feel good about getting it all done but next time I will try not to procrastinate for so long. I don't want to have to pull an "almost" all nighter.

Why on earth did I take 20 units?

I feel so overwhelmed with school. I'm not even doing that much. I have tons of assignments due and homework to finish. But I just feel too overwhelmed. For the past few weeks I have gone into "I can't do it so I'm not motivated." It is so hard to be disciplined and prioritize my life. I feel horrible. I keep on forgetting to complete assignments on time. I have two tests this week and one next week. I'm not even sure I can pass my chemistry and history classes. Why did I let myself get talked into taking 20 units this semester? Well, part of it was my idea. I thought if I was too busy with school then I would have no time to think about boys. That was stupid. I know now that the only way to not think about boys is going into solitude and living like a hermit. So what have I learned this semester besides that I don't ever want to take 20 units again and I don't want to take chemistry ever in my life? I learned that I just can't handle it. I learned that if a boy is on your mind then there is no way of getting him off unless you prove to yourself that it is never going to happen. (that is a confusing sentence and I think I'm the only one that understands it) I learned that it is horrible to be so busy you don't have time to do stuff.

What do I want to do next semester? Take only 12 units. I want to get involved in my church. It has really bugged me that I can't this semester. I feel like school is a burden and a trap. It is really hard for me to spend time with God. I have time for Him but I end up wasting it. I feel like.... I don't use bad language.

Gentlemen

It is really nice when guys open doors for me. I have noticed that most guys at school will open doors for me. It makes me feel like a lady. I just want to say good job to all the guys out there who are holding doors open. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Yearning

These lyrics describe how I feel today. I wanted to write it all out, so I did. It might not make sense. Maybe you would be better off not reading it. Sorry it is so bad but I'm not a pro. It just describes how my achy breaky heart feels.

Yearning

I'm wanting to start the next chapter in my life
wanting to become someone else's wife

Yearning for change
Yearning for love
Yearning for sacrifice

I'm looking for the one who will change my life
looking for a man to be his wife

Yearning for change
Yearning for love
Yearning for sacrifice

What Is The Point?

People tell me I have to go to college.

I say, why do I have to go to college?

They say, so you can get a good job.

I teach karate. I like teaching karate. I want to teach karate. Why do I need to spend all the time to get a degree if I'm never going to use it.

But you need a good job that will make money.

Why do I have to make lots of money? What is life? Is it going to college so you can get a degree so you can get a good job so you can make lots of money so you can buy lots of stuff and go to lots of places so you can be very happy so you can have kids so they can go to college so they can get a degree so they can get a good job so they can make lots of money.........? I would like to think that life is about living for God not about money. I really don't care about money right now. I just want to teach karate and make enough to support myself in a humble fashion. I want to serve in my church. I want to have time for relationships. Isn't that what life is about? Relationships. Our relationship with God should be most important and relationships with others should have priority over everything else. I want to do what God wants. I'm not sure what He wants right now. But I don't feel led or excited to go to college. Am I off based? Are my ideas wacky? Am I wrong for thinking this way?

Knee Surgery

My brother Isaac (17) injured his knee and tore a ligament last week. He needs to have surgery to attach the ligament. Isaac is already restless. The surgery is going to be on the 29th of this month. It will be three to six months recovery. He won't be able to work or do much. It is going to be hard for him to take it easy and hold back.

Purity Ring

I have been thinking of my purity ring that I wear on the ring finger of my left hand. It is a small silver ring shaped into a design with a heart and a cross in the center. The ring symbolizes that I will save sex for marriage. But it means far more than that. It stands for all the promises that I have made to God.

#1 I will love Him and follow Him forever. God is first in my life and will always be. He created love and He is Love.
#2 God has chosen someone for me to marry. I have promised to wait for him sexually, emotionally and spiritually. I will not have sex or even kiss until I am married.
#3 I will live a life of purity because that is what God has required of me.
#4 I will treat young men as brothers and not play with their hearts.

And above all it has come to symbolize waiting. I must wait. I wait for my husband to be. I wait for God. I wait for Jesus to come. I wait to see His face. I wait for the day I will be pure before God. I wait for the wedding feast. I wait.

Aches and Pains

I have scoliosis which is a curve in the spine from side to side. My back has been more sore than usual for the past couple of weeks. My neck has been really sore and keeps on going out. When my back and neck are "out of whack" I sometimes get shooting nerve pain. It feels like a pinch in my lower back. I have been getting really discouraged recently. I wonder if I will have this back pain for the rest of my life. I wonder how bad it will get when I become pregnant someday. But pain won't stop me from having kids.

Can God heal me? Can He straighten my spine and make it new? I don't know if it is God's will to heal me and stop my pain. But I know that God will get me through this. I know that He will help me and give me strength.

My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I actually went to a friends birthday party last night. She is turning 18 tomorrow. She had a great party. It was a lot of fun.

I went dancing the night before. I had wanted to go line dancing again so I went up to the Grad on country and line dancing night. Three of my friends came but no guy friends came. They were all busy. But I had a lot of fun. Guys were asking me to dance so I had plenty of dances. I want to go again soon. Dancing is now one of my favorite things to do. I had a great birthday!

I'm already planning for next year. I want to have a huge party and invite all my friends.

I feel trapped in a snare. I'm so busy with school but I want to do something for God. I want to do something at church and help with the youth group but I'm too busy. I feel awful that I'm not tithing. But I'm not working. I wish I could earn money so I could tithe. I want to do something at church besides handing out bulitons. I feel too busy to be friends with anyone. Why did I sign up for twenty units? I think it was one of the biggest mistakes I have made. I am so focused on school that I feel miserable that I'm spending more time reading my history book than the Bible.

Help! I'm drowning.

School has been keeping me busy and giving me lots of stress. I've had tons of homework. I have at least one test every week. I feel as if I am drowning in textbooks and homework. I'm frightened that I won't pass my classes or get a C. I've gotten mostly A's and B's in the past. So a C is pretty bad for me. I feel so overwhelmed.

Fear

My pastor (I love saying that. I'm so glad I have a pastor.) has been preaching about fear. The two sermons have been really good. Pastor Chris (two of the pastors who have made an impact in my life are named Chris. The other is Chris Swanson.) has been talking about the fear of rejection and the fear of failure. I totally fear rejection. I will say something stupid and beat myself up about it later all because I'm too concerned what others think. I am afraid that my friends don't really like me and are really annoyed by me. I am afraid that no guy will ever ask to marry me. I am afraid that I'll be alone except for my family who likes me just because that is what family is supposed to do. Does God like me? Of course He does. He is the only one that I'm confident in.

I sometimes think of compromising my standards so I'll attract a guy. Maybe if I date instead of court someone will actually ask me out. Maybe I should ask him out instead of waiting for him to ask me out. Well I can't do that because I feel like it is wrong. God wants guys to be the leaders.

My second fear is failing. What happens if I fail to get married or fail to make money or fail a class or fail to do anything or fail to please God or fail to live how I should or just fail. But then I tell myself that God loves me and that is never going to change. Sometimes it is other people who say I will fail. What happens if....

But am I supposed to expect that everything will go wrong and try to prepare for it? Should I get several college degrees in case I can't make money teaching karate or I don't get married or I do and my husband dies? It is these people and the fear of failure that I don't understand. Aren't we supposed to trust in God and have faith that He is going to take care of us? Why can't I just do what I feel led to do right now instead of worrying that something really bad is going to happen. Am I supposed to teach karate or am I supposed to try to find some career that will make money that I'll end up hating forever?

Fear is powerful but God is far more powerful. I think that by trusting Him and not letting fear reign in our lives we can live as we were made to live. We were made to love God and be loved by Him. It's that simple.

He Will Sustain Me

So here I am today worrying about what will happen if God doesn't want me to get married or have kids. I am totally freaking out. How am I going to live wishing for something that will never happen? How am I going to be able to keep going. I knew I would have to give this up to God. I have to give up all my hopes and dreams. Having kids is something I have looked forward to since I was a little kid. I have to be willing to give this up. So I got in the car to drive to school and this is the song that I heard first thing:

Matthew West - More
From the album Happy

Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look round you
I'm spelling it out one by one

CHORUS:
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love your more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

Repeat Chorus

I love you more, yeah
Shine for me
Shine for me
Shine, you shine, you shine for me

Repeat Chorus

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today through the joy and the pain,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more
I see you, and I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

How could I not want to give everything for God who loves me more than anything. This song made me cry as I realized that I needed to give up everything to Him. I might still end up getting married someday. But I had to get to the point where I had to give it up.

When I came home and checked facebook I read the verse on my profile.

Isaiah 46:4 "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I realized that it is God who will carry me and sustain me whether I get married or not. My trust has to be in He who made me, and knows me, and loves me more than anyone else.

Whether it is God's will that I get married or not I must trust in Him to sustain me. I can't freak out whether I will marry the right one. I can't freak out that marriage won't be in my future. I have to let God love me and carry me and sustain me forever. Amen

First College Algebra Test

Yes!!!!! I feel so good about this test. It was the perfect thing to make my day better. It put me in a good mood and gave me confidence. I can't wait to see my grade.

Desire

Does God give desires that He chooses not to fulfill? I have been mulling over this question. I have a desire for a husband and children. Will these desires be fulfilled. I just always thought that if I have such a natural good desire then it will come true someday. But maybe it won't. Will I have to live the rest of my life full of unfulfilled desires? I think that would make life more unbearable than it is now. I have the hope of seeing my dreams come true but will they? Why would God give desires that He doesn't fulfill? But are these from God? Does He do this as part of the sanctification process?

So want am I supposed to do? Will having faith and absolutely believing that God will do certain things make them happen?

Made To Love

Toby Mac - Made To Love
From the album Portable Sounds

The dream is fading now I am staring at the door
I know it�s over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feeling what I see
It's no mystery

What ever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget�

Chorus:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You'd keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You

The dreams alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin� for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin� vapors on my dreams
But I still believe�

I'm reachin� out, reachin� up, reachin� over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I'm on my way�

Chorus:

Anything I would give up for You
Everything I give it all away

Hot Sauce

One of my brothers (Daniel) dared my brother Isaac to put three drops of World's Hottest Hot Sauce on his burrito a couple nights ago. Isaac took the dare and I decided to also. How hot could three drops be? So I carefully spread three drops on a tortilla, put meat and cheese and sour cream on it, rolled it up and took a bite. That was the hottest thing I have ever eaten. It burned. I didn't even finish the burrito. I drank two glasses of milk trying to cool off my mouth. I was crying it was so hot. Well I won't take a dare to eat spicy food again. I think my tongue still feels the effects from the hot sauce. Well maybe not.

Studying

I've been studying the whole afternoon. First I studied for my Psychology test in the morning, then for my second Basic Health test, which I'll be able to take as soon as Hancock's website is working, then I read a chapter in my US History book. I think I'm pretty much ready for my test tomorrow. I'm getting sick so I hope I'll feel okay. I want to spend the rest of the week trying to work ahead and take as many history tests as I can.

Enough

All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

More than all I am
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Night Dune Hike

Last night my Uncle, Aunt, and cousins were camping at the Oceano Dunes and we went to hang out with them. After roasting hotdogs we decided to go on a hike through the dunes. So off we went taking turns carrying James, Jeremiah, and Abigail. Abigail did some walking herself. It was a beautiful night and the weather was perfect. It was so nice walking and climbing up the dunes. I think I would like to go sometime with my friends. But next time I don't think I'll carry anybody.

Struggling

Why is it so hard to stay on the narrow path? It is as if I feel like demons are dragging me down while I struggle to stand. It is a struggle that keeps on going. Satan gets a foothold in my life and controls an area, then his foot slips as God holds me up. Then Satan regains his foothold. It is such a struggle. I want to do good but my flesh wants to fulfill short term desires. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." (Bible) I thought I had won for a while. But Satan keeps on attacking in the same spot while it is still weak from the last attack. God deliever me!

Relationships

Here I am today feeling rather lonely. How can I feel lonely when I have a big family? Why do I feel like something or someone is missing? Ever since I can remember I've wanted kids. The desire has grown stronger as I've gotten older. I see the relationship that my Mother has with us and want that for myself. It is a desire that is so strong. I feel like part of me is missing. Recently my desire for marriage has deepened. But I don't understand marriage. The more I think about it the more it is a mystery to me. I see many marriages around me, both good and bad. But I don't fully comprehend the bond between a man and a woman. It is something so powerful yet so mysterious that it baffles me. I guess I understand the bond between a Mother and child because I experience it from the child's point of view. But marriage scares me deep inside. How can I desire something, yet fear it?

God has put desires into my heart. Some of these desires I can satisfy on earth, but there is one desire that cannot be satisfied. To put it in simple words: I want to see Jesus. I want to see Jesus more than anything. I am lonely because I need to be closer to Jesus. If I was fully satisfied and perfect then I wouldn't need Jesus. But I am a child who is struggling. I need Jesus more than anything in this world. I think that by waiting for a husband and children I learn to wait for Jesus.

Boyfriends

Why do christians date non-christians? This is easy for me to ask because I've never "fallen in love" with a non-believer. God says we should not be unequally yoked. If you are not supposed to marry non-christians then why date them? Why date at all? What are the benefits of dating? Yes, I have this urge to flirt and date with guys but I restrain myself. Flirting and dating lead to misunderstanding and breakups. I know you can learn from relationships. I have learned much about myself. I guess I just wish for a world where you meet your man, fall in love and get married. I want God to just point to him now and say there he is. But it is not that easy. And while I wait for him I have to trust in God and wait. This life is all about waiting.

Looking Forward to School

School starts on the 20th. I still have to buy my textbooks. I'm looking forward to school. I like the schedule that school gives me. I also like hanging out with friends and meeting new people. But unfortunately I won't have as much time this semester because I will be taking twenty units.

World Championships 2007

I had a great time at the USKA World Championships in New Orleans, Louisiana. The competition went very well and lasted over the course of four days. I competed in four events. I placed fourth in sparring and fourth in team sparring. I won third in weapons and third in kata.

Jars Of Clay

Yesterday I went to the Mid-State fair with some friends. We had an awesome time hanging out. In the evening we went to see Jars Of Clay. It was a great concert. My brothers and their friends were all upset because the band was wearing really short shorts. I was shocked at first but got over it. The music was great and I had a good time.

God's Prescription For Healthy Relationships Pt 4

Six Tips For Controlling Our Anger (Proverbs 14:29)

Patience means slow to get angry

Tip #1: Realize the cost of my anger (Proverbs 29:22; 15:18; 14:17; 11:29)

Tip #2: Resolve to manage my anger (Proverbs 16:32)

Tip #3: Reflect don't react when angry (Proverbs 29:11; 19:11, Philippians 4:5-7)

Stop and ask "Why am I angry?"
Think about "What do/did I want?"
Respond with honesty "I feel hurt when..." "I feel afraid when..." "I feel frustrated when..."

Tip #4: Release my anger appropriately (Ephesians 4:26)

Don't repress anger
Don't suppress anger
Don't express anger
Confess it!

Tip #5: Renew my mind and friends (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:22-24)

Anger is contagious (Proverbs 22:24-25, 1 Corinthians 15:33)

Tip #6: Rely on God's help (Romans 15:5)

God's Perscription For Healthy Relationships Pt 3

Five Practical Steps For Unity & Peace

Four ways to handle conflict

The ghost method
The general's method
The gang method
The God method

Philippians 2:1-2

To Conquer Conflict We Must Start With Being Like-Minded
Having the same love
Having the same spirit
Having the same purpose

1. Defuse Competition (Phil. 2:3, James 4:1-2)

2. Delete Conceit (Phil. 2:3, Proverbs 13:10; 16:18, Matthew 7:3)

3. Decrease Criticism (Phil. 2:3c, Ephesians 4:29, James 4:11-12, Romans 14:1,4)

4. Demonstrate Consideration (Phil, 2:4)

5. Develop Christ- Likeness (Phil. 2:5-8, Galatians 2:22, Ephesians 4:3)

Studying Through Romans Part 13

5:1-2 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God."

We are justified and forgiven. We have peace with God through Jesus. Jesus is the mediator and peacemaker. We rejoice in the thought of seeing God's glory.

5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

Trials and sorrows make us persevere. If life was easy there would not be the word persevere. Pressing on and never giving up develops our character. And if Godly character is there, we have hope. Hope never disappoints. I do not understand why hope never disappoints.

5:6-8 "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

It is interesting that Christ died for us while we were sinners. We had nothing to offer Him. Nothing to give Him. But while we were ungodly, caring nothing about God and having nothing to do with Him, He died for us. What love! It is the truest love that has been shown.

5:9-11 "Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through Him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

WOW! I think these verses speak for themselves. There is nothing that I can say about them.

Small Miracle

Last weekend I went down to my Grandma's house in Beaumont (near Banning). I drove down with my Father and three brothers to pick up my Grandma's truck (she is giving it to Isaac). On Saturday afternoon I drove the truck home with Isaac. My Grandma's truck is almost thirty years old so we were not sure if it would make the drive home. It lugged down on the hills coming home but did very well until we were coming up out of the Gaviota Pass. There is a long steep hill right there. The truck bogged down and Isaac put it into first gear. But then the truck started to sputter and I pulled over just as it died. The truck would not start back up. We sat there letting the engine cool. Then Isaac put some water in the radiator. I tried to start the truck again but nothing happened. So we prayed and then called our Father to pray for us. Then I tried again. But nothing happened. I knew that God had the power to start the engine so I turned the key again and it started!!! We said, "thank you God" and started slowly chugging up the hill. We made it to the top and all the way home.

I thought it was cool that God kept us safe, started the truck and brought us home. People say that there are no miracles now days, but there are. I just witnessed one.

One more thing. My brother Isaac has been unable to start the truck again.

God's Prescription For Healthy Relationships Pt 2

3 Keys To Building Joy In Our Relationships

Happiness is about "feeling good"- it's dependent upon what happens and is based on...
Circumstances
External
Chance

Joy is in dependent of what happens - it's a "positive confidence" in God and based on...
Christ
Internal
Choice

Three Joy Killers

Joy Killer #1 Selfishness (James 3:16, 4:1-2)

Joy Killer #2 Resentment (Hebrews 12:15, Proverbs 11:29)

Joy Killer #3 Fear (Proverbs 12:25; 15:15, 1 John 4:18)

In relationships fear makes us...
defensive
distant
demanding

Three Joy Builders

1. Focus on giving rather than receiving (John 3:16, Philipians 2:3-4, Acts 20:35)

2. Focus on healing rather than hurting (Colossians 3:13)
Stop rehearsing and start releasing the pain and hurt (Romans 5:3-4)

3. Focus on God's power rather than our problems (Psalms 62:8)

Why Can I Be Joyful In Spite Of Circumstances?

Because God is with me (Isaiah 43:2-3)
Because God has a plan for me (Psalms 50:15, Jeremiah 29:11)
Because God will help me (Psalm 43:5)

God's Perscription For Healthy Relationships Pt 1

5 Ingredients For A Lifetime Of Love

Two Misconceptions About Love
1. Love is only a feeling
2. Love is uncontrollable

The Truth About Love
Love is a matter of choice (Colossians 3:14)
Love is a matter of conduct (1 John 3:18)
Love is a matter of character (2 Corinthians 3:18, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Ingredient #1 Time (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Patience involves humility and gentleness (Ephesians 4:2)

Ingredient #2 Kindness (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Avoiding deposits in the bitterness bank involves choosing a tender heart and forgiveness

Ingredient #3 Trust (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Envy+Bragging+Pride= Insecurity (Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 26:24, 28)

Ingredient #4 Giving (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Ingredient #5 Action (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Facebook

I finally bowed into the pressure of joining a social network. Since I had said I would not join myspace, I went with facebook. My brother Matthew said facebook was better than myspace so that is why I did it. I guess I just have too much time on my hands this summer. When school starts I won't have time for all this stuff.

Clinging To God

I am just clinging to God. I have been asking Him for guidance in an area of my life and I have received an answer. I don't like the answer. My heart feels like it was stabbed. It's not anybodies fault that I feel this way. I feel like this because my flesh wants one thing and my spirit wants another. But I have put my identity in Christ. I have to accept what is given to me (or not given). God and I will always have a relationship even when everything else falls away.

Taking Our Mission Seriously Part 3

How To Be Used By God To Turn Our World Upside Down (Mark 16:15, Luke 14:23, Philippians 1:27, 1 Corinthians 3:9)

Five Steps To Be Used By God (Romans 6:13)

1. I Must Purify My Heart (2 Timothy 2:21, Joshua 3:5, 1 John 1:9)

2. I Must Sanctify My Body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Psalms 119:73, 1 Corinthians 6:13; 9:25)

3. I Must Simplify My Life (Hebrews 12:1, Matthew 6:24; 16:24, 2 Timothy 2:4)

4. I Must Fortify My Faith (1 Peter 4:2, 1 Timothy 4:7b)

Four Things To Help Us Fortify Our Faith (2 Timothy 3:16-17, Proverbs 19:8, 1 Peter 3:15, 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

A) Study the Bible
B) Read christian books
C) Write out our testimony
D) Join a small group

5. I Must Apply What I Know (James 1:22)

Studying Through Romans Part 12

4:1-8 "What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather, discovered in this matter? If, in fact Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about-but not before God. What does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works: "Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."

If Abraham was justified by his own works he had would have something to brag about. But not to God. Since Abraham believed God it was credited to him as righteousness, not as an obligation, but as a gift. Our righteousness comes from God who makes us righteous by forgiving and covering every sin that we have committed. We are blessed.

4:9-12 "Is this blessedness only for the circumcised, or also for the uncircumcised? We have been saying that Abraham's faith was credited to him as righteousness. Under what circumstances was it credited? Was it after he was circumcised, or before? It was not after, but before! And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised. So then, he is the father of all who believe but have not been circumcised, in order that righteousness might be credited to them. And he is also the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised but who also walk in the footsteps of the faith that our father Abraham had before he was circumcised."

I am going to compare the practice of circumcision with baptism again. Is righteousness only received by the baptized? No! Is it received before or after? It is received before because baptism is a sign or a seal of our belief in God.

4:13-17 "It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless, because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression. Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring-not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed-the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were."

It is amazing that God has made salvation available to all nations and peoples. That is why God's promise comes by faith. It is by God's grace that we are saved and made righteous. Abraham is the father of us all. We look to him for an example of faith. I don't quite understand why God has made Abraham father of us all. But he is our father in God's eyes. The God who raised the dead and calls things into being.

4:18-25 "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised. This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness-for us who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification."

Abraham is a great example of faith. He believed that God would give him a son in his old age. He knew that God would keep His promise to make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars. Every time we have faith in God our faith is strengthened.

Watermelon

I really like watermelon. But where are the big watermelons with seeds? All they have in the stores now are seedless melons. It is rather nice to eat watermelon without seeds when you are at a indoor party. But summer does not seem like summer without seed spitting contests. It is not just the seeds that I miss but the flavor also. I miss really good, juicy, flavorful watermelon.

Taking Our Mission Seriously Part 2

Mark 16:15, Luke 14:23, Mark 8:35, Philippians 1:27, 1 Corinthians 3:9, Ecclesiastes 4:9

The Story Of Four Friends And The Paralyzed Man (Luke 5:17-26)

1. They Had Concern For A Friend (Romans 15:2, 1 Cor. 10:24, Col. 4:3)

Things to pray for when praying for unbelievers
-Pray for God to soften your heart-to care about the lost.
-Pray for a chance to invite them to church.
-Pray God will soften and prepare their heart.
-Pray for an opportunity to share what God has done for you.

2. They Believed Jesus Would Save Their Friend (Luke 5:20, Hebrews 7:25, Mark 10:27, Romans 1:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

3. They Brought Their Friend To Jesus (Matthew 9:2, Col. 4:5, Luke 14:23)

4. They Didn't Let Difficulties Discourage Them (Galatians 6:9, 2 Peter 3:9)

5. They Dared To Do Something Different (Luke 5:19, Hebrews 10:24, Colossians 4:5)

6. They Worked Together To Get The Job Done (Luke 5:19)

7. They Were Willing To Pay The Price (1 Cor. 9:12, Ephesians 2:19b-22, Romans 1:9)

Sunburns

Well it is the beginning of summer. People are getting their first sunburns of the year. This bothers me. Why don't people put sunscreen on? I know one girl who is in agony because of a really bad sunburn. Both of my grandfathers have had skin cancer. My uncle died of a skin cancer that spread through his body. Sunscreen is cheap compared to cancer treatments. Why don't people put sunscreen on? I know that cancer runs in my family so I have to be extra careful. I slather myself with sunscreen and only wear shorts on the hottest days. I don't wear sleeveless tops either. I don't expect people to go as far as I do. I just wish they would put sunscreen on. And if you chose to get sunburned don't complain to me.

Studying Through Romans Part 11

3:9-20 "What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." "Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit." "The poison of vipers is on their lips." "Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness." "Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know." "There is no fear of God before their eyes." Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in His sight by observing the law' rather, through the law we become conscious of sin."

We are all sinners. (Romans 3:23) This has recently hit me very hard. I am a worthless sinner. There is no way that I can become righteous in this world. It is the law that showed me that I am a sinner that cannot keep the law. There is no hope for me. I am condemned to hell.

3:21-26 "But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in His blood. He did this to demonstrate His justice, because in His forbearance He had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished- He did it to demonstrate His justice at the present time, so as to be just and the One who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."

But because of Christ's finished work on the cross I am saved from being damned to hell. I receive a righteousness from God that comes through my faith in Jesus. This righteousness makes me pure in God's sight.

3:27-31 "Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith. For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law. Is God the God of Jews only? Is He not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too, since there is only one God, who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through that same faith. Do we, then, nullify the law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the law."

There is only one God and one circumcision and one faith.

Therefore we are condemned by the law. And are justified by grace through faith in Christ and made righteous. But is the law to be forgotten and despised because it condemned us? No, it is to be obeyed.

Studying Through Romans Part 10

3:1-2 "What advantage, then, is there in being a Jew, or what value is there in circumcision? Much in every way! First of all, they have been entrusted with the very words of God."

What value is there in being a christian? We have been entrusted with God's word. It is our duty to proclaim it and to live according to it.

3:3-4 "What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written: "So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge."

It is an amazing concept to fathom that God's faithfullness is always there no matter what we believe, say or do. God is faithful whether I have faith or not.

3:5-8 "But if our unrighteousness brings out God's righteousness more clearly, what shall we say? That God is unjust in bringing His wrath on us? (I am using a human argument.) Certainly not! If that were so, how could God judge the world? Someone might argue, "If my falsehood enhances God's truthfulness and so increases His glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?" Why not say-as we are being slanderously reported as saying and as some claim that we say-"Let us do evil that good may result"? Their condemnation is deserved."

Many people think that the ends justify the means. Is that true? Is it right to kill one human to save another? Is it right to sin in order that God's righteousness may be revealed?

Taking Our Mission Seriously Part 1

Jeremiah 1:5, John 17:17, 20-23, Mark 16:15, Luke 14:23, 2 Peter 3:9, Acts 17:5-7, Mark 8:35

A. I Must Abandon All Distractions (Luke 9:62)

Top Four Distractions (Hebrews 12:1)
1. Focusing On Money
2. Focusing On Past Mistakes
3. Focusing On What Others Think
4. Focusing On Our Plans (Psalm 119:37)

B. I Must Adopt God's Purposes (Romans 6:13, Acts 20:24, 2 Corinthians 5:18, 20)

C. I Must Anticipate God's Help (Matthew 6:33, Jeremiah 1:7-8, 2 Corinthians 16:9, Mark 10:29-30, Isaiah 6:8)

Camp Good News 2007

Camp Good News was fun! I had six girls in my cabin. We all had a good time at camp together. Everyday we had devotions in our cabin. We went to chapel, missions, Bible, crafts, hiking, pool, and games on the field. We had the best camp food in the world.

My heart goes out to the kids. Some of them have divorced or deceased parents. Some of them have a parent who is living with a person who they are not married to. These kids have so many aches and pains. They have bad examples. I want to cry when I think of what these kids are going through. I wish that I could be with them all the time. I want to help them even though I don't know how.

Dangerous Exits Part 3

The Exit Of Deception (1 Cor. 2:12, Romans 12:2, 2 Samuel 11:1-5)

1. Shift My Thinking From Self-centered To Others-centered (1 Cor 14:20, Phil 2:4)

2. Shift My Thinking From Earthly To Eternal (Colossians 3:1, 2, 4, 2 Cor. 4:18, 1 Cor. 7:31)

3. Shift My Thinking From Temptation To Trust (James 1:13-15)

4. Shift My Thinking From Enjoyment To Escape (1 Cor. 10:13b, Genesis 3:6, John 8:44, 1 Peter 5:8)

5. Shift My Thinking From My Way To God's Way (Proverbs 4:23; 7:1-5; 16:18; 28:26, Obadiah 1:3, Matthew 7:13-14)

The Princess And The Kiss

Last week I spotted a book in the living room. "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop. It is a childrens book written in fairy tale style. I think it is a good book to explain purity to kids who are really young. The story is about a princess who is given a special present from God, a kiss. Her parents keep that present until she is a young woman. Then they give the kiss to her with a warning to be wise and only give it to the man she will marry. Many men come and promise all sorts of things to her if she would marry them. But she realizes that these men would not appreciate or value her kiss. Finally a young man who has saved his kiss comes and they get married and exchange their kisses. It is a real sweet story.

Studying Through Romans Part 9

2:25-29 "Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised. If those who are not circumcised keep the law's requirements, will they not be regarded as though they were circumcised? The one who is not circumcised physically and yet obeys the law will condemn you who, even though you have the written code and circumcision, are a lawbreaker. A man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but from God."

Well, circumcision is a weird topic for a woman to talk about, but I cannot skip it. If I just skip over the parts of the Bible that are uncomfortable to talk about, then I would be studying a very small Bible indeed. But I don't think the main point is about circumcision. I think that the main point is it is not the physical outward signs that make you a Christ follower, but it is the heart. If a non-christian got baptised it would not make him a christian. In the same way if a christian was not baptised he would still be saved. The outward act of baptism is a sign of the inward change.

Looking Forward To Camp

Next week I am going to Camp Good News. I am really excited. I love being a counselor. This is my fifth year working at Camp Good News. I enjoy camp and being a role model for the kids. It is amazing how the kids look up to the counselors and admire them. The other staff members are amazing people. I am blessed to be part of such a team.

Top 10 Newsboys Songs

#1 "Presence" I long for God's presence. I long for the day when I will be in His physical presence. I will be complete on that day.

#2 "Rescue" God certainly has rescued me.

#3 "Beautiful Sound" I love to lift my voice to the Lord in a beautiful song.

#4 "Million Pieces" ("Kissing Your Cares Goodbye") This song was on the CD that I first listened to. It is still my favorite song from "Thrive".

#5 "I Am Free" (Live) Sometimes I don't appreciate my freedom and often I don't exercise my freedom as a christian. But I ask that the Lord will help me to live freely.

#6 "Blessed Be Your Name" This is a really beautiful song about praising God in the good times and the bad. I remember the things that God has given to me and taken away and the things that I still have.

#7 "I'm Not Ashamed" This is something that I am working on. I get annoyed at myself for being afraid to speak out and tell the world that I am a Christ follower.

#8 "Devotion" This is really pretty and worshipful.

#9 "Love Liberty Disco" I like the sound of this song.

#10 "Breakfast" The first time that I heard this song was a few years ago at one of their concerts. It was immediately one of my favorites.

Dangerous Exits Part 2

The Exit Of Discouragement (2 Corinthians 8:11, Hebrews 12:1-2)

1) Find Strength In Other's Faith (Romans 15:4, Hebrews 12:1a, Genesis 12, 22; Daniel 3, 6; Hebrews 11)

2) Put Off What Trips Me Up (Hebrews 12:1b, 2 Timothy 2:3-4)
A) Let Go Of Ungodly Attitudes And Actions
B) Let Go Of Unneccessary Activities

3) Determine To Persevere To The End (Hebrews 12:1c, 1 Cor. 15:58, 2 Cor. 11:23-28, Philipians 4:13, Acts 1:8, 1 Cor. 10:13)

4) Stay Focused On Jesus (Hebrews 12:2a, 2 Corinthians 5:7, 2 Corinthians 4:18)

5) Keep The Right Perspective (Heb 12:1-2, Phil. 3:14, 2 Cor. 4:17, John 6:1-15; 25-59; 60-69)

Imaginations

The other day one of my younger brothers asked what did we do before karate. (We have been evolved in karate for the past seven years.) My mother replied that we were busy having babies and taking care of them. She said we stayed at home and found things to do. It made me think about what I used to do when I was younger. I remember playing outside for hours with Matthew and Isaac. We would play indians and hunt with bows and arrows. I would make a fort and gather stones and sticks for a pretend fire. When our grandpa gave us a big bag of pecans from his tree we would crack the nuts with rocks and eat them. Sometimes we would be soldiers and march around with our toy guns that daddy made for us. Other times we would be woodsmen and hunters. We would explore and play for hours each day.

Some days we would stay inside. Matthew and I would read for hours. Isaac and I would play house and make grand forts in the playroom. We would pile chairs and toy boxes and stuff in a corner with towels as the roof. We would bake cookies and brownies in the kitchen. We would sometimes play hotel and restaurant.

We had really amazing imaginations back then. Sometimes when I play with my younger cousins now I wish that I still had that imagination.

Studying Through Romans Part 8

2:17-24 "Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and brag about your relationship to God; if you know His will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of the infants, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth - you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."

I am a christian who has strict standards. Do I keep these standards? Do I follow God's law or do I just teach it? Do I practice what I preach? I would like to say that I do, but I don't. There are non-christians in this world who look at people like me and say what is different about christians and they are just hypocrites We have to ask ourselves: are we hypocrites? Or are we living lives that are without blame? For this is what Christ has called us to do as followers.

Dangerous Exits Part 1

I'm excited about Hope Church. I like the people and the love that I see. I think that I am going to post the sermon notes every week.

Philippians 3:16

The Exit Of Desertion

Remember When You First Believed (Philipians 1:21)

Remember When You Were First In Love

There is an insatiable desire to learn in the relationship

There is an incredible time investment in the relationship

There is an intense preoccupation in the relationship

Revelation 2:2-5, I John 4:18

William Barclay said, "Agape has to do with the mind: it is not simply an emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately live" (New Testament Words, p. 21)

3 Steps Back To The Right Track

#1 Remember The Motivation Not The Emotion (Revelations 2:5, Matthew 5:44)

#2 Repent For Living Selfishly Not Selflessly (Revelations 2:5, Lamentations 3:40)

#3 Return To How We Began Not For Selfishness (Revelations 2:5)

Emotion Only Leads To Momentary Motion But Motion Leads To Momentum Emotion (John 13:34, John 14:15, 23-24)

Studying Through Romans Part 7

2:5-8 "But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when His righteous judgment will be revealed. God "will give to each person according to what he has done." To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honer and immortality, He will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger."

These verses have deep truth in them (and so does the rest of the Bible). It is interesting that Paul does not say christians get eternal life and others don't. He says that those who persist in doing good will be given eternal life, while those who are self-seeking and reject the truth will suffer God's wrath. The point is not whether you are saved or not (I am not saying that salvation does not matter) . The point is: are you persisting in good? Are you seeking glory, honor and everlasting life? Are you following Christ?

2:9-11 "There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favortism."

God does not judge you by your nationality or what family you were born into. He does not judge you according to whether your parents are christians or not. God judges you according to what you have done.

2:12-16 "All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares."

This is convicting. Every law that I have broken I will have to answer for. "Yes I knew that it was wrong, but I did it anyway", I will say. I know God's law and therefore I have sinned under God's law. I will be judged by the law. My secrets will be judged by God. But Christ has already paid the penalty for my sin. I am not looking forward to God's judgment and wrath. But I am longing to hear Christ's voice someday welcoming me into heaven.

Finals Week

Finals are over. I feel like I did well on my biology and geometry finals. I am getting A's in both classes. But I did not do that good on my spanish written and oral final. I am balancing between a D and a C in spanish. It all depends on the final. Well, I will find out in a couple of weeks.

Tonight when I got home from karate I felt a little lost without homework to do. It will be nice to take a break from all the deadlines and early morning schedules.

Studying Through Romans Part 6

2:1-4 "You, therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?"

I often judge others for the sin in their life. But it is interesting to realize that most of the sins that I do not like in other people are in me. For example I do not like it when people are selfish, but I have realized that I am one of the most selfish people I know. I often take God's kindness for granted. I forget about His wrath and think that God will love me no matter what. Well it is true that God loves us no matter what we do. But we are to demonstrate our love for Him. It is only because of God's kindness in sacrificing His Son that we can repent and be saved from our sins and their wages (death).

Gary Bonner Concert

I just got back from a concert at a church in the next town over. Gary Bonner brought his choir from California Baptist College. They were amazing. Gary Bonner is an excellent choir director, and the choir was beautiful. There was so much passion and love. I was really moved. One of the songs that stuck out in my head was "Lord Have Mercy." The soloist was a young man who poured his whole self into the song. I said to my parents on the way home that he 'became one with the song.' I was so blessed to attend the concert. All the praise belongs to God!

40 Days Of Purpose

My family has been visiting a church in our town for the past few Sundays. The pastor has been preaching a series on Rick Warren's "Purpose Driven Life". Today he reviewed everything from the past sermons. I think that it is a good idea to remember these things.

1. Life is not about me.
A. God is the focus not me. Hebrews 2:10 and Colossians 1:16
B. God still does miracles. Psalms 77:14 and Ephesians 3:20

2. Life is preparation for eternity. Ecc. 3:11

I was...

Planned For God's Pleasure = Worship
Formed For God's Family = Fellowship
Created To Become Like Christ = Discipleship
Shaped To Serve God = Ministry
Made For A Mission = Evangelism

3. We Grow Though...
A. making commitments
B. fellowship

James 2:17, Proverbs 27:17, Philipians 4:9, Hebrews 10:25

4. Now
A. Start putting it into practice
B. Start praying for others
C. Start passing it on

2 Timothy 2:2, John 4:35, Thessalonians 3:1, Acts 17:5-7, Romans 1:8

Finals and Summer Plans

I'm excited that tomorrow is the last day of school. I have had a lot of fun this semester, but I'm looking forward to the summer. My favorite class this semester has definitly been intro biology. My teacher made it fun and exciting.

Finals are next week. I feel a little nervous about my spanish final. I don't know if I can pass. And I have to pass the final in order to pass the class.

My plans for the summer are:

1) getting to know God more (this is my goal for the rest of my life)
2) karate (teaching, learning and competing)
3) camp (I'm going to be a counselor for a week at a christian camp)
4) spending time with family and friends
5) be more responsible (I hate this one because it means that I have to be diligent and not lazy. My father wants me to be more
responsible and helpful. I want to prove myself to him and make him happy)

Studying Through Romans Part 5

1:24-25 "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen."

This verse really gets me. God hates sin, but He doesn't force people to obey Him. People reject God and continue to sin so He just gives them over to what they want more.

1:26-27 "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their woman exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."


I see this happening in the world today. Sometimes when I read my Bible I am amazed that the ink is already dry (to borrow a line from Corrie Ten Boom in her book "The Hiding Place") I see how homosexuality is rampant in our world. There have even been Pastors caught in the act. There are churches who do not believe it is wrong (I wonder what Bible translation they have). And just as God says, they are getting the due penalty. One of these penalties I see is the spread of AIDS and other diseases.

1:28-32 "Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, He gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

The last verse reminds me of some things that have been going on. I know some people who have been filled with some of the above things. They have continued in sin and approving it. There have been consequences for their actions.

I think about how many things on this list that I have done. I am as guilty as they are.

Proverbs 20:9 " Who can say, "I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin?"

Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

My sins are what put Christ on the cross. I would be a person damned for hell if it wasn't for what Christ did on the cross for me and for you. He led a sinless life.

1 Peter 2:24 "He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree."

2 Corinthians 5:21 "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us."

It is only because of His sacrifice that our sins are forgiven and forgotten. And we have the hope of escaping our sinful nature by accepting Him as Lord of our life.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Read the story of Christ's death and resurrection in John 19 and 20

Questionare

I was at school today and a guy handed me a survey of opinions on certain topics. I thought that the questions were thought-provoking and good ones to talk about.

1. Do you believe that marriage is a sacred bond in today's world? or is this particular "bond" over rated and/or misused?

2. If you having certain privileges meant others going without would that be ok? In the context of the world Americans have much at our disposal....would you rather have everyone with the same or some with more and others with less?

3. Do you believe segregation and racism are dead or are these still issues that must be dealt with?

I would like all comments.

5 Of My Favorite Songs (for now)

#1 Jesus Freak by DC Talk
I think that this song has a cool message. It is set to a good tune and is fun to sing along to. (I like singing to a lot of songs that I listen to)

#2 I Am Free by Newsboys
This song expresses the way I feel. I am so free right now from all sorts of things.

#3 Clothes by Barlow Girl
I thought that this was the greatest song when I first heard it. It said exactly what I thought about the clothes people are wearing.

#4 Radio by Chris Rice
I like it because that is what I am always doing. I love "singing on the other side of the radio."

#5 Bowling Ball by Superchicks
I laughed when I heard this song. But sadly it is true. There are so many girls who have boyfriends that are not christians and do not have a good character.

Lutheran Liturgy

Today we visited a Lutheran church of the Missouri Synod. It was refreshing to read the liturgy. For most people who attend a liturgical church it can become old hat, but since it was different for me it was refreshing to hear God's Word. I though I'd share a couple parts with you.

Confession and Absolution

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God, who is faithful and just, will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-9

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Our souls are restless, O Lord, until they find their rest in you.

In remembrance of our Holy Baptism into Christ and in view of the promised inheritance in the new heavens and earth, let us confess our sin and need for God's mercy.

Most merciful God, we confess that we are by nature sinful and unclean. We have sinned against You in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone. We have not loved You with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We justly deserve Your present and eternal punishment. For the sake of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Have mercy on us. Forgive us, renew us, and lead us, so that we may delight in Your will and walk in Your ways to the glory of Your holy name. Amen.

"Behold, I am making all things new." Almighty God in His mercy has given His Son to die for you and for His sake forgives you all your sins. Amen.

Confession of Faith: The Nicene Creed

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of His Father before all worlds, God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made; who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate. He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He will come again with glory to judge both the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.

And I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son together is worshiped and glorified, who spoke by the prophets.

And I believe one holy christian and apostolic Church, I acknowledge one Baptism for the remission of sins, and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

Studying Through Romans Part 4

1:21-23 "For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles."

Paul is talking about wicked man who know who God is. These men know that God is God. But they choose not to glorify or thank Him. They decided to trade the glory of living for and with God. So claiming to be wise they worship man and animals.

Luke 12:47 "That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows."

John 3:19 "Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil."

It is weird to think that people have been worshiping animals for thousands of years. The Egyptians and Romans had temples devoted to gods with bodies made to look like man and animals. Pharaoh himself claimed to be a god. Now I see where people are elevating animals by saying we are nothing but evolved animals. People believe that we are animals. There are also many who think that they are their own God and do not have to answer to anybody. These people are selfish and live only to please themselves.

We as christians must daily examine ourselves to find the idols in our lives. Maybe it is money, a car, a house, a hero, a movie star. A idol can be a thing that is good like a relationship with a friend or your spouse. Whenever something becomes more important than your relationship with God it has become your idol.

Studying Through Romans Part 3

1:19 "The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them."

God's wrath is being made known to us because we have sinned. We have turned away from the truth and turned toward the untruth. God has made it plain to us that He is Holy and Righteous and hates wickedness.

2 Kings 22:13b "Great is the Lord's anger that burns against us because our fathers have not obeyed the words of this book; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written there concerning us."

John 3:36 "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."

Romans 2:8 "But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger."

1:20 "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities- His eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

People ask, what about the person who has never heard of God? Is God so unjust that He would sentence that person to hell? This verse answers both. God has made Himself so clear to us in what He has made. Genesis chapter one tells us of the creation of the world. The more I learn about creation the more I am in awe of God. He has created us so perfectly and the world is so amazing. I know that even if humans live on this earth for several billion more years they will only discover a small part of God's creation. It is not humanly possible to discover how every detail of Creation works. I do not understand how people can say there is no God. The world is living proof that there is a God.

Psalm 19:1-4 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."

Studying Through Romans Part 2

1:8 First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world.

It is amazing how this verse says so much. Paul is thanking God through Jesus Christ. This reminds us that Jesus is the mediator between us and God.

John 14:6 "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

The Romans faith was being reported throughout the world. That is amazing. Paul does not talk about their ministry or good deeds. He says that their faith is being reported. Should we not all want to be known for our faith in God?

1:9-13 God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of His Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God's will the way may be opened for me to come to you. I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong- that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith. I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) in order that I might have a harvest among you, just as I have had among the other Gentiles.

It is wonderful to know that someone is praying for you every day. My grandparents have been praying for me every day of my life. When I am going through hard times it comforts me to know that someone is praying for me. Paul is reminding them of his love. Even though he has not been able to journey to them he is constantly praying for them. Paul wants to fellowship and produce fruit among them also.

1:14-17 I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome. I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."

Paul is so eager to preach because he feels like it is his duty. He is not ashamed of it because the gospel reveals God's righteousness.

Studying Through Romans Part 1

I started to study the book of Romans with one of my best friends. Now it looks like we are not able to continue studying together. I think that Romans is such a good book that I don't want to stop studying it. I am going to write about what stands out to me and make my own comments.

1:1 Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God-

The two words that stand out to me are "set apart". I think about how we are to live our lives set apart from the rest of the world. God calls us to be holy.

1 Peter 1:14-15 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

As christians we should be living our lives differently than non-christians. We have Christ in our lives. Shouldn't we strive to become more like Him?

1:2-6 the gospel He promised beforehand through His prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding His Son, who as to His human nature was a descendant of David, and who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by His resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord. Through Him and for His name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith. And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.

This gospel was promised in the Old Testament. There are hundreds of prophesies foretelling the first coming of Christ. Some of the most famous ones can be found in Isaiah. It is only through Jesus that we receive grace. There is no other way. The reason we receive grace and apostleship is for Christ's name sake. We receive not that we might become great, but that God may be glorified.

Verse seven tells us that the book of Romans was written to the believers in Rome. It is important to know who Paul is writing to.

My Testimony

I was born into a christian family. I accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was seven or eight at a Vacation Bible Club. I don't remember much about that. But I do remember the change. It is amazing to see my journey and how God has been so patient with me. My spiritual life has been somewhat like a roller coaster. I have ups and downs. During my junior high and high school years God seemed very real and close. I had awesome experiences attending youth group, going on a missions trip to Mexico, attending SLAM (a week long youth conference on evangelism), and working at Camp Good News.

But then a few things happened. Our pastor left the church to minister elsewhere and we had an interim for a year. Then we got a new pastor. Personally I was drifting away from God. He didn't seem close at all. I was living in sin. To tell you the truth I was struggling with lust. I didn't feel worthy to talk to God or read His Word. I felt dirty. Last summer I was a counselor at Camp Good News again. When I arrived I asked myself "What are you doing here?" I was not a good example. I was not even reading my Bible. I was miserable.

Then God woke me up. I caught whooping cough at camp and was sick for the rest of the summer and fall. God brought me to the lowest point in my life. I was struggling to breath. I cried out to God "please heal me" but he did not. Finally one night as I cried I begged God's forgiveness and deliverance from my sin. God heard my cry and healed me. Since then I have grown closer to God. I still struggle with lust but now I have faith in God's love and mercy. I refuse to let Satan use guilt to keep me away from glorifying God.

First Post

I have been itching to have a blog for quite a while. Finally I have one. I have decided to use this blog to keep my friends posted on my experiences, joys and sorrows. But most importantly I want to let others know what I am learning in my walk with Christ. This blog is going to be about keeping God first.