Fear

My pastor (I love saying that. I'm so glad I have a pastor.) has been preaching about fear. The two sermons have been really good. Pastor Chris (two of the pastors who have made an impact in my life are named Chris. The other is Chris Swanson.) has been talking about the fear of rejection and the fear of failure. I totally fear rejection. I will say something stupid and beat myself up about it later all because I'm too concerned what others think. I am afraid that my friends don't really like me and are really annoyed by me. I am afraid that no guy will ever ask to marry me. I am afraid that I'll be alone except for my family who likes me just because that is what family is supposed to do. Does God like me? Of course He does. He is the only one that I'm confident in.

I sometimes think of compromising my standards so I'll attract a guy. Maybe if I date instead of court someone will actually ask me out. Maybe I should ask him out instead of waiting for him to ask me out. Well I can't do that because I feel like it is wrong. God wants guys to be the leaders.

My second fear is failing. What happens if I fail to get married or fail to make money or fail a class or fail to do anything or fail to please God or fail to live how I should or just fail. But then I tell myself that God loves me and that is never going to change. Sometimes it is other people who say I will fail. What happens if....

But am I supposed to expect that everything will go wrong and try to prepare for it? Should I get several college degrees in case I can't make money teaching karate or I don't get married or I do and my husband dies? It is these people and the fear of failure that I don't understand. Aren't we supposed to trust in God and have faith that He is going to take care of us? Why can't I just do what I feel led to do right now instead of worrying that something really bad is going to happen. Am I supposed to teach karate or am I supposed to try to find some career that will make money that I'll end up hating forever?

Fear is powerful but God is far more powerful. I think that by trusting Him and not letting fear reign in our lives we can live as we were made to live. We were made to love God and be loved by Him. It's that simple.