He Will Sustain Me

So here I am today worrying about what will happen if God doesn't want me to get married or have kids. I am totally freaking out. How am I going to live wishing for something that will never happen? How am I going to be able to keep going. I knew I would have to give this up to God. I have to give up all my hopes and dreams. Having kids is something I have looked forward to since I was a little kid. I have to be willing to give this up. So I got in the car to drive to school and this is the song that I heard first thing:

Matthew West - More
From the album Happy

Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look round you
I'm spelling it out one by one

CHORUS:
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love your more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

Repeat Chorus

I love you more, yeah
Shine for me
Shine for me
Shine, you shine, you shine for me

Repeat Chorus

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today through the joy and the pain,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more
I see you, and I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

How could I not want to give everything for God who loves me more than anything. This song made me cry as I realized that I needed to give up everything to Him. I might still end up getting married someday. But I had to get to the point where I had to give it up.

When I came home and checked facebook I read the verse on my profile.

Isaiah 46:4 "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I realized that it is God who will carry me and sustain me whether I get married or not. My trust has to be in He who made me, and knows me, and loves me more than anyone else.

Whether it is God's will that I get married or not I must trust in Him to sustain me. I can't freak out whether I will marry the right one. I can't freak out that marriage won't be in my future. I have to let God love me and carry me and sustain me forever. Amen