I wish a Merry Christmas to all of you. Christmas is my favorite holiday because of what it means to me. Jesus came to earth as a baby. God with us. It is an amazing thing that too often we as christians take for granted. God is with us and will always be.
My family makes a big deal of Christmas. We start celebrating as soon as Thanksgiving is over. We put up decorations and observe the four Sundays of Advent. On Christmas Eve we open our presents and have a fancy dinner. We tell the Christmas story and have a wonderful time of hanging out with family. We continue celebrating on Christmas Day by emptying our stockings and having another wonderful dinner. The time spent between Christmas and New Year's is usually filled with more sweets, family time, and celebration. We finally end our Christmas celebration on January 6th with the visit of the Magi. Then we take down all our decorations.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
It's Raining, It's Pouring...
This morning, when I woke up to go to morning prayer, it was raining. At first, I didn't want to go to get up and go but then I remembered that I had made up my mind to go yesterday and I wasn't going to change it. I drove carefully since it was the first rain in a while. The roads are extra dangerous during the first rain because there is still oil on the road. Oil and water make a bad combination. At least that is what everyone tells me. It started raining harder after I got back from prayer. I noticed that there was a huge puddle on the lawn outside of my room. Since my room was freezing cold I decided to go with my roommate to school. We got our stuff together and grabbed our umbrellas. Then we walked to the corner to cross the street. It was totally flooded around the corner. I had to step in and get wet. But then, when we got to the other side we realized that the water was deep. We waded through the almost knee deep water. There was no way around it. Once we had crossed I noticed that the water flooded half the street. I found it amazing that a city street would not have better drainage.
I won't be going back across the street until after my final this afternoon.
I won't be going back across the street until after my final this afternoon.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
He is My Beloved
I was recently thinking about my purity ring again. When you wear something on your finger all the time it kind of stays in your mind. I wrote about my purity ring last year in October. You can find that post and read it if you want to. I was thinking a little deeper in the symbolism of my ring. I can look at my ring two different ways.
1) The cross is in my heart. The cross symbolizes Jesus' love for me. It also stands for Jesus Himself. He is the dearest thing to me. I love Him more than anything else. I will follow Him anywhere and will never let go of Him. I can't bear to separated from Him. I am utterly miserable without Jesus.
2) The heart is not mine it is Jesus' heart. The heart symbolizes His love for me. He loves me so much that He died for me. He has been pursuing me since I was conceived. He is the ultimate intimate lover of my soul.
So there are two ways of looking at my ring. It stands not only for my love and promise to God, but for His love and promise to me. Now my ring seems so much greater.
1) The cross is in my heart. The cross symbolizes Jesus' love for me. It also stands for Jesus Himself. He is the dearest thing to me. I love Him more than anything else. I will follow Him anywhere and will never let go of Him. I can't bear to separated from Him. I am utterly miserable without Jesus.
2) The heart is not mine it is Jesus' heart. The heart symbolizes His love for me. He loves me so much that He died for me. He has been pursuing me since I was conceived. He is the ultimate intimate lover of my soul.
So there are two ways of looking at my ring. It stands not only for my love and promise to God, but for His love and promise to me. Now my ring seems so much greater.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
God Will Strengthen Me
I Peter 5:8-10 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."
These verses describe my life this week. The devil came and tried to destroy me but I remained steadfast. I am now in the suffering stage but soon God will perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me. Isn't that a wonderful promise?
These verses describe my life this week. The devil came and tried to destroy me but I remained steadfast. I am now in the suffering stage but soon God will perfect, establish, strengthen and settle me. Isn't that a wonderful promise?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I Want to Hold Your Hand
There are days that are lonelier than others. They are not necessarily the days when I am alone. The days that I feel the loneliest is when I have spent time with other people and then I leave or they leave. I feel really lonely then. My heart aches for something more. Today is one of those days.
Sometimes it seems like no guys pay any attention to me. I wonder if I'm invisible. My heart aches for someone to notice me. My heart aches for a companion. I want someone to love. I want to hold their hand and feel the strength of their grip on my hand.
I know God has plans for me and that I am supposed to follow them. But how do I know what they are? I think God wants me to go to chiropractic school but I'm not sure. How do I know what God wants for me? How do I know if God has someone in store for me. Why is God silent? Does silence mean that God wants me to finish school before He will tell me if I am to marry someone. I am scared. What happens if God does tell me to do something. What if I don't want to do it? What if God asks me to leave my family and go to another country? What if I never hear God? How will I know what steps to take? I wish I could just hold His hand. Then there would be no fear of going the wrong way. Sometimes I wish I could throw everything away and run into the arms of Jesus. Some day I will. Some day I will meet Jesus in the clouds. I will be in heaven with Him and then I will rein with Christ. Life will not be confusing then. Life will be perfect when I'm holding hands with Jesus. I want to hold Your hand.
Sometimes it seems like no guys pay any attention to me. I wonder if I'm invisible. My heart aches for someone to notice me. My heart aches for a companion. I want someone to love. I want to hold their hand and feel the strength of their grip on my hand.
I know God has plans for me and that I am supposed to follow them. But how do I know what they are? I think God wants me to go to chiropractic school but I'm not sure. How do I know what God wants for me? How do I know if God has someone in store for me. Why is God silent? Does silence mean that God wants me to finish school before He will tell me if I am to marry someone. I am scared. What happens if God does tell me to do something. What if I don't want to do it? What if God asks me to leave my family and go to another country? What if I never hear God? How will I know what steps to take? I wish I could just hold His hand. Then there would be no fear of going the wrong way. Sometimes I wish I could throw everything away and run into the arms of Jesus. Some day I will. Some day I will meet Jesus in the clouds. I will be in heaven with Him and then I will rein with Christ. Life will not be confusing then. Life will be perfect when I'm holding hands with Jesus. I want to hold Your hand.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Opa
Opa is German for grandfather. My Opa is one of the most amazing men I know. Today I went to to the church he pastors. He is 75 and still pastors a small church of around 30 people. I was struck by the realization of how much he loves God. He sang a solo which was the most beautiful thing. It was beautiful because I could see how much he loved Jesus. My Opa's eyes light up when he sings or talks about Jesus. I enjoyed seeing the joy in his eyes and on his face. I am so grateful to have christian grandparents. But I am even more thankful that I have grandparents who love Jesus so much.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My Soul Longs for Jesus
Yesterday I was hanging out with a classmate and a friend of his. My classmate and I were working on an assignment for class while his friend was sketching him for art class. I happened to mention that I was 21 and like most people they asked me if I got "wasted" on my birthday. I said that I hadn't drunk any alcohol since I turned 21. They laughed at that. I explained that I had tasted alcohol before, but that I hadn't drunk anything since. They said that I should get drunk. I said that I choose not to get drunk and of course they laughed at me. My classmate's friend said that I should experience being drunk. Life is too short. I should experience as much as possible. This, of course, didn't convince me the least bit.
This made me think of the hopeless situation that non-christians are in. They have no hope so they their goal in life is to "live life to the fullest" and "experience everything." I think it is the saddest thing.
Why do I have no desire to get drunk? Because I have something much better. I have a relationship with Jesus. I don't need to get drunk to escape from life, because life is not that bad when you know Jesus. I don't need to get drunk to have a good time, because I have a good time when I'm with Jesus. My soul longs for Jesus. Nothing else will do. Nothing else can satisfy me or make me happy. All I want is Jesus.
This made me think of the hopeless situation that non-christians are in. They have no hope so they their goal in life is to "live life to the fullest" and "experience everything." I think it is the saddest thing.
Why do I have no desire to get drunk? Because I have something much better. I have a relationship with Jesus. I don't need to get drunk to escape from life, because life is not that bad when you know Jesus. I don't need to get drunk to have a good time, because I have a good time when I'm with Jesus. My soul longs for Jesus. Nothing else will do. Nothing else can satisfy me or make me happy. All I want is Jesus.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
God Have Mercy
God have mercy on us. God have mercy on what we have done. We have turned away from Your face and followed other gods. Our hands are covered with the blood of millions of babies. We have warped marriage and are bent to destroying it all together. Our sins are numerous. God have mercy on America and soften our hearts. Have mercy O Lord, and do not destroy us. In history nations like us either turned back to You or were destroyed. Lord, let us be like the nations who turned back to You.
Save our nation! Tear down wickedness and raise up righteousness.
Save our nation! Tear down wickedness and raise up righteousness.
Monday, October 27, 2008
If you are a Christian... vote.
I just want to say, if you live in America, vote. Vote for what you believe in. If you are a Christian, vote for what you believe in and for the people who believe the same or are the closest. Don't vote for someone who supports abortion. Don't vote for someone who supports anything that is unbiblical.
VOTE!!! We need to take a stand for what we believe in.
VOTE!!! We need to take a stand for what we believe in.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Prayer Of A Righteous Man Is Powerful And Effective
Prayer is very powerful. In the last chapter of James it talks about praying at all times of life. When you are troubled or happy or sick I want to encourage you to pray more and seek God more. Pray for your family and your church. Pray for our nation. Pray for God's will to be done. Pray for God's mercy. Ask God for more of Him.
Our prayers bring us closer to God and closer to each other. There is a bonding that you get when you pray for someone or receive prayer. Go pray for someone.
Our prayers bring us closer to God and closer to each other. There is a bonding that you get when you pray for someone or receive prayer. Go pray for someone.
Monday, October 13, 2008
God's Grace
God's grace is amazing. One of the Pastors at my church preached a sermon. In fact he preached it three times. I heard it twice so I think God really wanted me to hear it. I thought I would share what I got from it. Look up the verses. I'm not going to write out the verses. So when you see a reference next to a sentence know that the sentence is what my pastor said, not what the verse says.
Don't Count Score
Matt 6:3
When you do something good, don't count score.
Luke 15:11-32 The Parable of the Lost Son
The older brother was keeping score.
He compared score with his brother.
Luke 18:9-14
The Pharisee was counting score.
The tax collector moves the heart of God, he depends on mercy alone.
Breakthrough depends on mercy and grace alone.
The secret to humility is to forget score and fix your eyes on God's grace.
How I do on judgment day depends on my understanding of grace.
Reasons it is dumb to keep score:
1. Keeping score keeps us from understanding grace.
If you count score you will fall from grace. Gal 5:4
2. Keeping score will leave us offended at God. Matthew 20:15-16
If we think God owes us we are keeping count.
3. Keeping score will keep you from being able to fully love God. 1 John 4:19
4. Keeping score leads to envy and strife. Rom 2:11, Eph 6:9, 1 Peter 1:17
We are on the same team. We are part of the body. All success, breakthroughs, and victories are yours, mine and Jesus'.
5. When you keep score you will no longer be motivated by God's love. 1 Cor 15:9-10
6. Keeping score is a waste of time and energy.
7. Keeps you from receiving from God.
We can receive from God if we have faith. People who have faith believe in God's grace.
Do we understand grace? If we want to know how we understand grace we can look at how we respond to offense. How do we respond when someone hurts us?
If we miss grace, we miss the gospel.
Don't Count Score
Matt 6:3
When you do something good, don't count score.
Luke 15:11-32 The Parable of the Lost Son
The older brother was keeping score.
He compared score with his brother.
Luke 18:9-14
The Pharisee was counting score.
The tax collector moves the heart of God, he depends on mercy alone.
Breakthrough depends on mercy and grace alone.
The secret to humility is to forget score and fix your eyes on God's grace.
How I do on judgment day depends on my understanding of grace.
Reasons it is dumb to keep score:
1. Keeping score keeps us from understanding grace.
If you count score you will fall from grace. Gal 5:4
2. Keeping score will leave us offended at God. Matthew 20:15-16
If we think God owes us we are keeping count.
3. Keeping score will keep you from being able to fully love God. 1 John 4:19
4. Keeping score leads to envy and strife. Rom 2:11, Eph 6:9, 1 Peter 1:17
We are on the same team. We are part of the body. All success, breakthroughs, and victories are yours, mine and Jesus'.
5. When you keep score you will no longer be motivated by God's love. 1 Cor 15:9-10
6. Keeping score is a waste of time and energy.
7. Keeps you from receiving from God.
We can receive from God if we have faith. People who have faith believe in God's grace.
Do we understand grace? If we want to know how we understand grace we can look at how we respond to offense. How do we respond when someone hurts us?
If we miss grace, we miss the gospel.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Jesus Freak
I changed the name of my blog in case you have not noticed. I decided that I didn't want to define myself as a mouse any longer. I am no longer timid. Also, "The Mouse" was a name I came up with because I couldn't think of anything else at the time I created my blog. I wanted a new name that described my new life. A lot of people party while they are in college. I am one of them. But I go to a different type of party. These parties are worship celebrations in honor of The King. I realized how crazy in love with Jesus I had become. So I named my blog "Jesus Freak."
I am a Jesus Freak. I am crazy in love with my Savior. He is amazing. I have changed a lot since my move down here. But I don't need to tell you that. I think you will be able to tell.
I am a Jesus Freak. I am crazy in love with my Savior. He is amazing. I have changed a lot since my move down here. But I don't need to tell you that. I think you will be able to tell.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
God Has Plans For Me
Jeremiah 29:11 tells of God's plans for us. I know of great plans God has for me. It is so exciting to see God revealing His plans to me. I just had to tell someone. God is telling me my future. I don't understand exactly what I am to do. But the pieces are starting to come together.
Seek God. Seek out His plans for you. He will reveal them to you. Open your heart up to Jesus.
Seek God. Seek out His plans for you. He will reveal them to you. Open your heart up to Jesus.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Forgiveness
I think forgiveness and love goes hand in hand. If you love someone you will forgive them. If you forgive someone it is done out of love for that person or love for God. Forgiveness is one of the things we struggle the most with. I have a hard time forgiving. But God has forgiven us and we now have eternal life. We ought to forgive others. God has called me to forgive those who have hurt me and my loved ones. The hardest people to forgive are those who refuse to forgive. But I have to forgive others because of what God has forgiven me.
Forgiveness is not just saying sorry. It is saying that you will love that person even though they hurt you. Forgiveness is not talking about what they did wrong. Forgiveness is forgetting what they did. True forgiveness is powerful. It is one of the most powerful ways to share the gospel with someone.
Please forgive your brother his trespasses. Forgive your mother and father. Forgive your sister. Forgive your son and daughter. Love them as Christ has loved you.
Forgiveness is not just saying sorry. It is saying that you will love that person even though they hurt you. Forgiveness is not talking about what they did wrong. Forgiveness is forgetting what they did. True forgiveness is powerful. It is one of the most powerful ways to share the gospel with someone.
Please forgive your brother his trespasses. Forgive your mother and father. Forgive your sister. Forgive your son and daughter. Love them as Christ has loved you.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Do You Know God?
Most of us would say, "Yes, I know God." But do you know God?
I thought I knew God more than most people. I can quote scripture. I am familiar with most of the Bible. I know who God is and who His Son is. I can tell most of the Bible stories and even argue theology. I have a relationship with God. But do I know God? Of course! Yes!
But last Friday I realized that I did not know God well. My pastor encouraged us to know God. To know God in each and every aspect of our lives. To know God intimately. Do I know God? Not that well.
Last week God showed me how much He loved me. This week He is saying that He wants me to know Him more. I want to know God. I want to be with Him every moment of the day. The more we are together the more I will know Him. It is like going to the beach with a friend. You might never have known how much that friend loved the beach if you hadn't gone with him. I think it is the same with God. If I don't spend time with God in every part of my life then I will never know God in the context of school, shopping, hanging with non-christian friends, watching TV...the list goes on. It is a scary thought to think of bringing Jesus everywhere with me. But I want to know Him more. I want to know God.
Do you know God?
I thought I knew God more than most people. I can quote scripture. I am familiar with most of the Bible. I know who God is and who His Son is. I can tell most of the Bible stories and even argue theology. I have a relationship with God. But do I know God? Of course! Yes!
But last Friday I realized that I did not know God well. My pastor encouraged us to know God. To know God in each and every aspect of our lives. To know God intimately. Do I know God? Not that well.
Last week God showed me how much He loved me. This week He is saying that He wants me to know Him more. I want to know God. I want to be with Him every moment of the day. The more we are together the more I will know Him. It is like going to the beach with a friend. You might never have known how much that friend loved the beach if you hadn't gone with him. I think it is the same with God. If I don't spend time with God in every part of my life then I will never know God in the context of school, shopping, hanging with non-christian friends, watching TV...the list goes on. It is a scary thought to think of bringing Jesus everywhere with me. But I want to know Him more. I want to know God.
Do you know God?
Monday, September 1, 2008
God is Love
God loves me. A simple concept that has taken on new meaning for me this weekend. I guess it started with me feeling lonely and realizing that I would have to depend on God for love. I know that I won't get it from a guy anytime soon. So I have to depend on God. Isn't it better to depend on God rather than man?
Sunday morning I was looking at some pictures that I took. I have been taking pictures of flowers. They are so beautiful. I was amazed by their beauty so much I almost cried. I had read the "Daily Light on the Daily Path," which is a devotional with Bible verses only. The verses talked about God's love and salvation. God has saved us from death. God loves us so much. I guess I was feeling overwhelmed by God's love that morning. And that was why I was moved almost to tears.
God poured out His love to me at church. I think God spoke to me that morning in church. There was this verse about the Son doing what He sees the Father doing. I saw God loving me and I knew that I would have to love others in the same way. How can I love like God? I'm just a human. Jesus told His disciples that they would do even greater things than Him. I want God's love to shine out of my life. I want others to see God's love in me. The only love I have in me is from God.
Sunday afternoon I went to my grandparents feeling full of God's love. Then, because God is good and because He loves me so much, He overwhelmed me to tears. God had given me life everlasting, He had saved my life, He had given me so many blessings I couldn't count them all, He had embraced me in love that morning, and then He gave me a car. When my grandparents told me that they were planning on giving me their Ford Taurus next month I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed by the love of God.
I feel like God is teaching me one lesson at a time. This one is love.
Sunday morning I was looking at some pictures that I took. I have been taking pictures of flowers. They are so beautiful. I was amazed by their beauty so much I almost cried. I had read the "Daily Light on the Daily Path," which is a devotional with Bible verses only. The verses talked about God's love and salvation. God has saved us from death. God loves us so much. I guess I was feeling overwhelmed by God's love that morning. And that was why I was moved almost to tears.
God poured out His love to me at church. I think God spoke to me that morning in church. There was this verse about the Son doing what He sees the Father doing. I saw God loving me and I knew that I would have to love others in the same way. How can I love like God? I'm just a human. Jesus told His disciples that they would do even greater things than Him. I want God's love to shine out of my life. I want others to see God's love in me. The only love I have in me is from God.
Sunday afternoon I went to my grandparents feeling full of God's love. Then, because God is good and because He loves me so much, He overwhelmed me to tears. God had given me life everlasting, He had saved my life, He had given me so many blessings I couldn't count them all, He had embraced me in love that morning, and then He gave me a car. When my grandparents told me that they were planning on giving me their Ford Taurus next month I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed by the love of God.
I feel like God is teaching me one lesson at a time. This one is love.
Friday, August 29, 2008
First Week of School
My first week of school went quite well. I am taking six classes which add up to sixteen units. I'm taking Intro to Kinesiology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, History and Philosophy of Human Movement, College Writing, Measurements and Statistics in Kines, and Aikido. My Aikido class is very interesting and fun. It is nice to be a beginning student again. My hardest class this semester is going to be Anatomy and Physiology.
I got a job at the Titan Recreation Center. I'm a substitute drop-in fitness instructor. I watched a few classes this week to get an idea of what is going on. I feel ready to teach whenever I get called in. I hope I can work at least one hour every week or two. I need to get another job. But it is hard to find jobs because everyone is looking for one and most places aren't hiring.
I went to the Rec Center and participated in a Martial Arts Fitness class last night. I had a great time. I had not realized how much I had missed the dojo. It felt good to work out.
This weekend is going to be tough for me. I already feel a little lonely and homesick. I don't have any homework due. I am going to read ahead and start working on some of my assignments to pass the time. I don't have any plans but I hope to make some. I'm sitting here at the computer feeling alone. It's weird. When I was at home I would want my alone time and I treasured it. Now I wish I wasn't alone. I want to hang out with my family and have the closeness that only happens between family members. But God is with me. He has never left me. These days I am forced to depend on God for comfort and companionship. That is good.
Dear God, draw me close and hold me. My heart aches for I am lonely. Comfort me and love me. I love You. I thank You for everything. You are my Lord and my Lover. I praise You for You are truly great!
I got a job at the Titan Recreation Center. I'm a substitute drop-in fitness instructor. I watched a few classes this week to get an idea of what is going on. I feel ready to teach whenever I get called in. I hope I can work at least one hour every week or two. I need to get another job. But it is hard to find jobs because everyone is looking for one and most places aren't hiring.
I went to the Rec Center and participated in a Martial Arts Fitness class last night. I had a great time. I had not realized how much I had missed the dojo. It felt good to work out.
This weekend is going to be tough for me. I already feel a little lonely and homesick. I don't have any homework due. I am going to read ahead and start working on some of my assignments to pass the time. I don't have any plans but I hope to make some. I'm sitting here at the computer feeling alone. It's weird. When I was at home I would want my alone time and I treasured it. Now I wish I wasn't alone. I want to hang out with my family and have the closeness that only happens between family members. But God is with me. He has never left me. These days I am forced to depend on God for comfort and companionship. That is good.
Dear God, draw me close and hold me. My heart aches for I am lonely. Comfort me and love me. I love You. I thank You for everything. You are my Lord and my Lover. I praise You for You are truly great!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I'm Okay
It's better than I thought it would be. I had a much better weekend than I thought I would have. I checked in on Saturday and then raced at break neck speed (not really) to get to the tournament. I ended up seeing my cousins compete. I judged and competed in kata and kumite. I decided to skip orientation and went to visit my cousins instead.
When I got back to my dorm I met one of my roommates. She is the coolest person! Of course I think a bunch of my friends are the coolest people. We hit it off right from the start. I unpacked my stuff and went to bed. I woke up in the morning feeling really homesick. I called my parents and cried on the phone. Then I went to church. It was amazing. My brother's girlfriend arrived a few minutes after I did. When the music started the pastor's daughter started dancing. It was the most beautiful thing that I had seen. I cried because it was beautiful and because I had been missing worship so much. I hung on every word the pastor said. I am so hungry for God. It is amazing to go to a church and have people pray for you like you are the most special person in the world. That is how I felt. My prayer for this school year is to have the greatest hunger and thirst for God. My prayer is that God will fill me with His Spirit and His burning fire.
I've had an awesome week. The people here are really nice and the food is good. God is working in me and I'm making friends. I've been hanging out with my older brother and I went to Magic Mountain.
I'm also looking for a job. I applied for a job at CVS Pharmacy. I feel really good about working there. Pray that God will open doors for me and my friend who needs a job more than I do.
When I got back to my dorm I met one of my roommates. She is the coolest person! Of course I think a bunch of my friends are the coolest people. We hit it off right from the start. I unpacked my stuff and went to bed. I woke up in the morning feeling really homesick. I called my parents and cried on the phone. Then I went to church. It was amazing. My brother's girlfriend arrived a few minutes after I did. When the music started the pastor's daughter started dancing. It was the most beautiful thing that I had seen. I cried because it was beautiful and because I had been missing worship so much. I hung on every word the pastor said. I am so hungry for God. It is amazing to go to a church and have people pray for you like you are the most special person in the world. That is how I felt. My prayer for this school year is to have the greatest hunger and thirst for God. My prayer is that God will fill me with His Spirit and His burning fire.
I've had an awesome week. The people here are really nice and the food is good. God is working in me and I'm making friends. I've been hanging out with my older brother and I went to Magic Mountain.
I'm also looking for a job. I applied for a job at CVS Pharmacy. I feel really good about working there. Pray that God will open doors for me and my friend who needs a job more than I do.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Moving
I'm leaving. I thought I would never leave home to go to college but now I am. I am leaving this weekend to move into my dorm. I'll be there a week before school starts. I made up my mind last January to transfer to Cal State Fullerton. Now that it is a reality I am getting scared. I have been depressed at the thought of leaving home. I'm going to miss my family a lot. I'm also going to miss everyone at the dojo. My going away party was last weekend. It hit me real hard. I'm actually leaving. I know that it won't be too bad when I get there and settle in. But I am still scared at the thought of it all.
There is so much still to do before I leave this weekend. I have finished most of my shopping. I'm packing my things this week. I'll be cleaning my room from top to bottom on Thursday in order to leave it cleaner than it has been in a long time.
There are things that I am looking forward to. I'm looking forward to making new friends. I'm looking forward to new experiences and learning new things. I'll be missing a lot back home but I'll be doing and experiencing enough new things to make up for it. At least that is what I tell myself.
There is so much still to do before I leave this weekend. I have finished most of my shopping. I'm packing my things this week. I'll be cleaning my room from top to bottom on Thursday in order to leave it cleaner than it has been in a long time.
There are things that I am looking forward to. I'm looking forward to making new friends. I'm looking forward to new experiences and learning new things. I'll be missing a lot back home but I'll be doing and experiencing enough new things to make up for it. At least that is what I tell myself.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Cry Out
I need pray. I feel distant from God. I'm not spending much time with Him yet I crave fellowship. Since we have stopped going to church as a family I have craved church like I never have before. I love the hymns and songs. I love singing and praising the Lord but I don't do this anymore. I am not being fed so I stopped reaching out. I stopped reaching out to God. I know this is my own fault. God has not stopped loving me and just because I'm not going to church doesn't mean I can't worship God on my own. But it is hard. I go for the immediate pleasure instead of reading the Bible or praying. I spend my spare time watching movies and playing on the computer. Besides teaching karate I feel meaningless. Like I am not doing anything of value. I need revival deep in my soul. I need a burning passion for my Lord. Pray for me. Pray that God will give me love.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Break Fast
Friday night I broke my movie and TV fast by watching Prince Caspian. I had been planning to see the movie for over a month. The last week was tough. I kept on wanting to drive to the theater as fast as I could and watch Narnia and then come home and start watching whatever and everything I wanted to. I managed to control myself and wait. While other people including my brothers went to see Prince Caspian during the opening week, I spent my time studying and taking my finals. I got through it all.
I enjoyed the movie even though they had made some changes that I didn't like. I don't like change whether it is a movie or life in general. But I'm not going to tear apart the movie here and now.
The next day I spent watching seven episodes of "Murder She Wrote." I think I need to practice moderation.
I enjoyed the movie even though they had made some changes that I didn't like. I don't like change whether it is a movie or life in general. But I'm not going to tear apart the movie here and now.
The next day I spent watching seven episodes of "Murder She Wrote." I think I need to practice moderation.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Studying Through Romans Part 17
8:1-4 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so He condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit."
Hallelujah! This is one of the most joyful verses in Romans. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I am not condemned. I do not have a death sentence. I am free! Jesus came as a sin offering so we might not die. These verses sum up the salvation message.
8:5-8 "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."
It is so true. When I am living for Christ, my thoughts are on Him. My mind is on Him. I cannot please God when I am controlled by sinful desires. You cannot serve both God and man. You must choose this day who you are going to serve.
8:9-11 "You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you."
Our bodies are dead in Christ but our spirits are alive. God will give life to our bodies. I think this means that we should live as though our bodies are dead. We shouldn't please our fleshly desires but instead we should dwell on spiritual things. And God will give life to our dead mortal bodies. We will someday have immortal bodies.
8:12-17 "Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation - but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a Spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory."
We have this obligation to live for God. If we renounce our sinful ways and follow Christ then we will live. We are sons of God. We are also heirs if we share in Christ's sufferings. Only those who share in His sufferings may also share in His glory.
8:18-21 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God."
But our sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. Creation is waiting for the sons of God to be revealed. I picture the rocks and trees rejoicing in their freedom when the sons of God are revealed.
8:22-25 "We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of out bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
I think of my deepest desire to be holy. I am in anguish over my sinfulness. I cannot wait for the redemption of my body when I shall be called a son of God and I shall be made pure.
8:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
Often I pray without knowing how I'm supposed to. Sometimes I feel like the Spirit is directing me to say something and other times I keep silent because I do not know what to say. It is then that the Spirit intercedes for me.
8:28-30 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified."
Some people think that verse 28 means that if you love God then everything will be peachy keen. I think it goes with verse 30. If we love God, if we have been predestined and called, we are justified and glorified. Isn't this our good? We are justified and glorified. What more could a person want?
8:31-39 "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither hight nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
No one's judgment can separate us from God. Nothing on earth or in heaven can separate us from the love of God. Isn't that amazing to think about? Sometimes life can get depressing and you can feel like there is no love in this world. But God's love reaches everywhere and nothing can separate us. Doesn't that give you the greatest security you could ever hope for?
Hallelujah! This is one of the most joyful verses in Romans. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I am not condemned. I do not have a death sentence. I am free! Jesus came as a sin offering so we might not die. These verses sum up the salvation message.
8:5-8 "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."
It is so true. When I am living for Christ, my thoughts are on Him. My mind is on Him. I cannot please God when I am controlled by sinful desires. You cannot serve both God and man. You must choose this day who you are going to serve.
8:9-11 "You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you."
Our bodies are dead in Christ but our spirits are alive. God will give life to our bodies. I think this means that we should live as though our bodies are dead. We shouldn't please our fleshly desires but instead we should dwell on spiritual things. And God will give life to our dead mortal bodies. We will someday have immortal bodies.
8:12-17 "Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation - but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a Spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory."
We have this obligation to live for God. If we renounce our sinful ways and follow Christ then we will live. We are sons of God. We are also heirs if we share in Christ's sufferings. Only those who share in His sufferings may also share in His glory.
8:18-21 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God."
But our sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. Creation is waiting for the sons of God to be revealed. I picture the rocks and trees rejoicing in their freedom when the sons of God are revealed.
8:22-25 "We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of out bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
I think of my deepest desire to be holy. I am in anguish over my sinfulness. I cannot wait for the redemption of my body when I shall be called a son of God and I shall be made pure.
8:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
Often I pray without knowing how I'm supposed to. Sometimes I feel like the Spirit is directing me to say something and other times I keep silent because I do not know what to say. It is then that the Spirit intercedes for me.
8:28-30 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified."
Some people think that verse 28 means that if you love God then everything will be peachy keen. I think it goes with verse 30. If we love God, if we have been predestined and called, we are justified and glorified. Isn't this our good? We are justified and glorified. What more could a person want?
8:31-39 "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither hight nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
No one's judgment can separate us from God. Nothing on earth or in heaven can separate us from the love of God. Isn't that amazing to think about? Sometimes life can get depressing and you can feel like there is no love in this world. But God's love reaches everywhere and nothing can separate us. Doesn't that give you the greatest security you could ever hope for?
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Lord, Consume Me
My family is looking for a church again. I want to be part of a church that does things together. When I worship, I want to see others worshiping. I want to feel like I belong and am needed there.
My parents are out of town this weekend. I decided to take three of my younger brothers and visit the First Assembly of God in the next town over. So I woke up this morning and confessed my sin to God. Then a song popped into my head. A thousand times I've failed but still Your mercy remains.... I got ready for church and then drove there with my brothers. People were friendly. Worship started. Some of the songs I didn't know but some I did. The last song started playing and I thought I recognized the tune. Then the lyrics were projected on the screen A thousand times I've failed and still Your mercy remains.... I knew God was trying to tell me something. I don't think it was a coincidence. I nearly broke down crying when I got to: from the inside out Lord my soul cries out..... Why can't God break and humble you without making you cry in front of people? I broke down. God's grace and mercy covers all. I know that God has been saying that He wants me now. Not when I feel like it. Not when I have found a church. Not when I move this fall. He wants me now. I was touched by the worship and the sermon. The pastor preached on Jonah chapter four. He talked about anger and depression and joy and thanksgiving. I want to go back but most of all I want God to consume me from the inside out.
My parents are out of town this weekend. I decided to take three of my younger brothers and visit the First Assembly of God in the next town over. So I woke up this morning and confessed my sin to God. Then a song popped into my head. A thousand times I've failed but still Your mercy remains.... I got ready for church and then drove there with my brothers. People were friendly. Worship started. Some of the songs I didn't know but some I did. The last song started playing and I thought I recognized the tune. Then the lyrics were projected on the screen A thousand times I've failed and still Your mercy remains.... I knew God was trying to tell me something. I don't think it was a coincidence. I nearly broke down crying when I got to: from the inside out Lord my soul cries out..... Why can't God break and humble you without making you cry in front of people? I broke down. God's grace and mercy covers all. I know that God has been saying that He wants me now. Not when I feel like it. Not when I have found a church. Not when I move this fall. He wants me now. I was touched by the worship and the sermon. The pastor preached on Jonah chapter four. He talked about anger and depression and joy and thanksgiving. I want to go back but most of all I want God to consume me from the inside out.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
My Favorite Foods
My favorite food list keeps on growing. At first I just put a few of my absolute favorite foods down, but then I just kept on adding. I like food. I like almost every food that I have eaten. Perhaps it would be better to list the few foods that I don't like. Let's see....I do not like....really spicy food, really greasy food, food with tons of garlic, and alligator meat makes me sick. But besides that, if it is food, I like it!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
10 Favorite Songs
5 Favorite Steven Curtis Chapman Songs
Fingerprints of God
I love this song because it reminds me that I am the clay and He is the potter. I have God's fingerprints all over me. I am a masterpiece!
The Change
I like the music and it keeps me thinking about how God changes our lives. People should see a difference in us as Christians.
Miracle of the Moment
I often dwell so much on my future that I miss out on the present.
Live out Loud
Why do I want to hide? I pray that Christ will help me to live out loud.
With Every Little Kiss
I'm looking forward to experiencing the power of kissing. (I'm saving my first kiss for my husband)
3 Favorite Casting Crowns Songs
Voice Of Truth
There are so many lies that I start to believe. But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story.
What if His People Prayed
Prayer is so powerful. We would see a lot more happening if there was just more prayer.
If We Are The Body
Why are we not reaching out? Why are we not doing what we are supposed to be doing?
Other Favorite songs
What Could Be Better by 33 Miles
I love songs about heaven! This one is set to country music.
Jesus Freak by DC Talk
I think that this song has a cool message. It is set to a good tune and is fun to sing along to. (I like singing to a lot of songs that I listen to)
Fingerprints of God
I love this song because it reminds me that I am the clay and He is the potter. I have God's fingerprints all over me. I am a masterpiece!
The Change
I like the music and it keeps me thinking about how God changes our lives. People should see a difference in us as Christians.
Miracle of the Moment
I often dwell so much on my future that I miss out on the present.
Live out Loud
Why do I want to hide? I pray that Christ will help me to live out loud.
With Every Little Kiss
I'm looking forward to experiencing the power of kissing. (I'm saving my first kiss for my husband)
3 Favorite Casting Crowns Songs
Voice Of Truth
There are so many lies that I start to believe. But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story.
What if His People Prayed
Prayer is so powerful. We would see a lot more happening if there was just more prayer.
If We Are The Body
Why are we not reaching out? Why are we not doing what we are supposed to be doing?
Other Favorite songs
What Could Be Better by 33 Miles
I love songs about heaven! This one is set to country music.
Jesus Freak by DC Talk
I think that this song has a cool message. It is set to a good tune and is fun to sing along to. (I like singing to a lot of songs that I listen to)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
My First Poetry
Trying
As I sit here trying to write,
there is this noise drowning my thoughts.
A thousand frogs or so it seems,
O I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!
So I go to another place.
This place is quiet or so it seems.
But the frogs follow me there.
I can’t write this poem here.
So I go to another place.
I won’t hear those frogs anymore.
But then a frog hops into view.
He looks at me and opens his mouth.
Out comes a noise that I didn’t want to hear.
GO AWAY YOU DREADFUL FROG!
Then all of a sudden
as if my scream had summoned them all,
a thousand frogs jump into view.
Before I could utter a sound
a thousand frog’s voices drowned out mine.
When I tried to escape a thousand frogs barred my way.
So I opened my mouth and began to scream.
I CAN’T WRITE or so it seems!
Pure White
White blossoms in spring
remind me of snow.
They contrast with the dark green
of trees nearby.
White blossoms in spring
remind me of brides.
Dressed in flowing, flowery gowns,
they stand innocently with hands clasped tight.
White blossoms in spring
remind me of angels.
Held high by lofty branches
Pure and Holy
Untouched by human hand.
As I sit here trying to write,
there is this noise drowning my thoughts.
A thousand frogs or so it seems,
O I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!
So I go to another place.
This place is quiet or so it seems.
But the frogs follow me there.
I can’t write this poem here.
So I go to another place.
I won’t hear those frogs anymore.
But then a frog hops into view.
He looks at me and opens his mouth.
Out comes a noise that I didn’t want to hear.
GO AWAY YOU DREADFUL FROG!
Then all of a sudden
as if my scream had summoned them all,
a thousand frogs jump into view.
Before I could utter a sound
a thousand frog’s voices drowned out mine.
When I tried to escape a thousand frogs barred my way.
So I opened my mouth and began to scream.
I CAN’T WRITE or so it seems!
Pure White
White blossoms in spring
remind me of snow.
They contrast with the dark green
of trees nearby.
White blossoms in spring
remind me of brides.
Dressed in flowing, flowery gowns,
they stand innocently with hands clasped tight.
White blossoms in spring
remind me of angels.
Held high by lofty branches
Pure and Holy
Untouched by human hand.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Denying Myself
Matthew 16:24-26 "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"
I used to wonder what denying yourself meant. I thought my life was easy. God blessed me and it was better for me to live for Him than to not live for Him. I didn't feel like I was denying myself anything. I didn't want to be bad or do bad things so I didn't feel deprived. Then I felt like I should fast from movies and TV. This verse keeps on popping up into my head. I must deny myself the pleasure of watching movies. This is hard at times but is much easier than the other things that I now realize I have to deny myself. Those things that I ask myself "is this sin or is it good pleasure?" I realize that is not the question to ask. I must give up these things in order to take up my cross and follow Christ. I must lose my life for Christ. What does that mean? I am to lose my life in order to find it? I think it means that I am to give up my life for the things that are more important. Why should I live for the temporary when I can make a difference in the eternal? Why should I seek pleasure and success in this world at the expense of my relationship with Jesus Christ?
I think God has great plans for me. No, I KNOW that God has great plans for me. I don't know what they all are yet. I feel this struggle going on inside of me. I want to do good. I want to pray. I want to serve God. I want to spend time with God. I want to know God more. But there is this.... something...that is keeping me away from Him. I feel like there is a struggle going on for my soul. I know that I am saved but Satan is trying to drag me back to sin. He is intent on dragging me down and putting a stop to what I am meant to do. Satan would not be so determined if there were not great plans for me. I know that God has marvelous plans for my life.
Oh God, save me and give me the strength and determination that I need to persevere until the end!
I used to wonder what denying yourself meant. I thought my life was easy. God blessed me and it was better for me to live for Him than to not live for Him. I didn't feel like I was denying myself anything. I didn't want to be bad or do bad things so I didn't feel deprived. Then I felt like I should fast from movies and TV. This verse keeps on popping up into my head. I must deny myself the pleasure of watching movies. This is hard at times but is much easier than the other things that I now realize I have to deny myself. Those things that I ask myself "is this sin or is it good pleasure?" I realize that is not the question to ask. I must give up these things in order to take up my cross and follow Christ. I must lose my life for Christ. What does that mean? I am to lose my life in order to find it? I think it means that I am to give up my life for the things that are more important. Why should I live for the temporary when I can make a difference in the eternal? Why should I seek pleasure and success in this world at the expense of my relationship with Jesus Christ?
I think God has great plans for me. No, I KNOW that God has great plans for me. I don't know what they all are yet. I feel this struggle going on inside of me. I want to do good. I want to pray. I want to serve God. I want to spend time with God. I want to know God more. But there is this.... something...that is keeping me away from Him. I feel like there is a struggle going on for my soul. I know that I am saved but Satan is trying to drag me back to sin. He is intent on dragging me down and putting a stop to what I am meant to do. Satan would not be so determined if there were not great plans for me. I know that God has marvelous plans for my life.
Oh God, save me and give me the strength and determination that I need to persevere until the end!
Monday, March 31, 2008
He Carries Me
Building 429 - You Carried Me
From the album Iris To Iris
I've been so busy, I missed the reasons
I missed Your love, and I nearly missed it all
Still You've loved me, and You've healed me
You've given all and it brought me to Your cross
I stand only because You've given me grace to walk
Only because
Chorus
You carried me
You carried me
You carried me through it all
And I believe
Yes I believe
You'll carry me all the way home
Cause mercy covers all
Cause mercy covers all
I know the scripture, I've known the songs
I sang the words from my hollowed heart
But You've spoken softly through the storm
I've heard Your voice and I've felt the calm
I stand only because You've given me faith to walk
Only because
Chorus
I know that you love me
I'll never doubt it I can't live without it
Your mercy has found me
I am astounded, I can't live without it
You carried me
You carried me
You carried me through it all
You carried me
You carried me
And I believe
Yes I believe
You'll carry me all the way home
Cause mercy covers all
Mercy covers all
And I believe
Yeah, and I believe
Yeah, I believe
From the album Iris To Iris
I've been so busy, I missed the reasons
I missed Your love, and I nearly missed it all
Still You've loved me, and You've healed me
You've given all and it brought me to Your cross
I stand only because You've given me grace to walk
Only because
Chorus
You carried me
You carried me
You carried me through it all
And I believe
Yes I believe
You'll carry me all the way home
Cause mercy covers all
Cause mercy covers all
I know the scripture, I've known the songs
I sang the words from my hollowed heart
But You've spoken softly through the storm
I've heard Your voice and I've felt the calm
I stand only because You've given me faith to walk
Only because
Chorus
I know that you love me
I'll never doubt it I can't live without it
Your mercy has found me
I am astounded, I can't live without it
You carried me
You carried me
You carried me through it all
You carried me
You carried me
And I believe
Yes I believe
You'll carry me all the way home
Cause mercy covers all
Mercy covers all
And I believe
Yeah, and I believe
Yeah, I believe
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Studying Through Romans Part 16
7:1-3 "Do you not know, brothers - for I am speaking to men who know the law - that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man."
We are given an example of something that is very clear to us who know the law so that we might understand the lesson.
7:4-6 "So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
So the lesson is that we have died to the law. We have been released from this law so that we might serve in the Spirit.
7:7-13 "What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful."
The law itself is not sin. But before the law sin was not recognized as sin and therefore no death. When the law came the sin came and there was death. Sin came because of the law. This is such an interesting concept to think about.
7:14-20 "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
I sin so much even though I don't want to. When I want to do what is right, that is when I am tempted to sin. It makes me feel terrible inside. I feel like I am being torn in two. My sinful nature and myself are having a battle. There is no good in me except for Jesus.
Michael English - The Only Thing Good In Me
From the album The Prodigal Comes Home
I heard someone say the other day
They'd seen in me true love displayed
Blessed by something I had done for them
No sooner did they speak those words
I found myself somehow disturbed
Uneasy as I took their compliment
'Cause I know the heart inside this man
I know the truth of who I am
[Chorus]
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I've lived long enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come
[Chorus]
In a thousand years
When the dust of this world clears
And I look back on my life
And see in perfect light
7:21-25 "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."
In my inner being (what I think of as myself, my personality, my soul) I want to do good. I want to please God. But my flesh is still a slave to sin. Does this mean that my earthly body will always be a slave to sin? Will I never experience freedom while I am still in this body? God has saved me through Christ. But has this saving been fully worked out in my life? I know that I am saved but is there more to be done in this life? How much sanctification (being made holy) do I experience in this life and how much do I experience after this life? These are things to ponder.
We are given an example of something that is very clear to us who know the law so that we might understand the lesson.
7:4-6 "So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code."
So the lesson is that we have died to the law. We have been released from this law so that we might serve in the Spirit.
7:7-13 "What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful."
The law itself is not sin. But before the law sin was not recognized as sin and therefore no death. When the law came the sin came and there was death. Sin came because of the law. This is such an interesting concept to think about.
7:14-20 "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
I sin so much even though I don't want to. When I want to do what is right, that is when I am tempted to sin. It makes me feel terrible inside. I feel like I am being torn in two. My sinful nature and myself are having a battle. There is no good in me except for Jesus.
Michael English - The Only Thing Good In Me
From the album The Prodigal Comes Home
I heard someone say the other day
They'd seen in me true love displayed
Blessed by something I had done for them
No sooner did they speak those words
I found myself somehow disturbed
Uneasy as I took their compliment
'Cause I know the heart inside this man
I know the truth of who I am
[Chorus]
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I've lived long enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come
[Chorus]
In a thousand years
When the dust of this world clears
And I look back on my life
And see in perfect light
7:21-25 "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."
In my inner being (what I think of as myself, my personality, my soul) I want to do good. I want to please God. But my flesh is still a slave to sin. Does this mean that my earthly body will always be a slave to sin? Will I never experience freedom while I am still in this body? God has saved me through Christ. But has this saving been fully worked out in my life? I know that I am saved but is there more to be done in this life? How much sanctification (being made holy) do I experience in this life and how much do I experience after this life? These are things to ponder.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Studying Through Romans Part 15
6:1-2 "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"
We often wonder how much sin can we get away with. This is not the question to ask. We have given up our sinful ways. Why would we even want to sin?
6:3-4 "Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."
We are a new creation. Why do we so often try to go back to our old self. We should leave it behind. It is dead.
MercyMe - So Long Self
From the album Coming Up To Breathe
Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say
Chorus:
So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, Goodbye, don't cry
So Long Self
Stop right there because I know what your thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Oh, can't you see
6:5-7 "If we have been united with Him like this in His death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin."
If we have become one with Christ in His death then we are still one with Him as he rose from the dead. Since Christ has risen we have also risen. Hallelujah! So then, why are we tormented by lies saying that we are still slaves to sin? Oh, how I long to feel totally free from sin.
6:8-11 "Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."
I am dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ. That means I need to live my life not just for God but to God. I must worship Him with my whole being.
6:12-14 "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."
When I was younger my mother often said, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop". As I have gotten older I have realized that it is not just true of hands but of the mind as well. A mind and hands that are busy doing good and worshiping God are less likely to fall into sin. Shouldn't we worship God with our bodies in return for this great gift of life that He has given us?
6:15-18 "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey- whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."
We can't serve two masters. We must choose who we are going to serve. I am set free from sin. I am a slave to righteousness.
6:19-23 "I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I am a slave to righteousness which leads to holiness. I received no benefit from my shameful sins. But now that I have been set free, I will holy and have eternal life.
We often wonder how much sin can we get away with. This is not the question to ask. We have given up our sinful ways. Why would we even want to sin?
6:3-4 "Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."
We are a new creation. Why do we so often try to go back to our old self. We should leave it behind. It is dead.
MercyMe - So Long Self
From the album Coming Up To Breathe
Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say
Chorus:
So long self
Well it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me farewell
Oh well, Goodbye, don't cry
So Long Self
Stop right there because I know what your thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Oh, can't you see
6:5-7 "If we have been united with Him like this in His death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin."
If we have become one with Christ in His death then we are still one with Him as he rose from the dead. Since Christ has risen we have also risen. Hallelujah! So then, why are we tormented by lies saying that we are still slaves to sin? Oh, how I long to feel totally free from sin.
6:8-11 "Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."
I am dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ. That means I need to live my life not just for God but to God. I must worship Him with my whole being.
6:12-14 "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."
When I was younger my mother often said, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop". As I have gotten older I have realized that it is not just true of hands but of the mind as well. A mind and hands that are busy doing good and worshiping God are less likely to fall into sin. Shouldn't we worship God with our bodies in return for this great gift of life that He has given us?
6:15-18 "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey- whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."
We can't serve two masters. We must choose who we are going to serve. I am set free from sin. I am a slave to righteousness.
6:19-23 "I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I am a slave to righteousness which leads to holiness. I received no benefit from my shameful sins. But now that I have been set free, I will holy and have eternal life.
Studying Through Romans Part 14
It has been a long time since the last blog in this series. I'm hoping to finish Romans in the next couple months.
5:12-14 "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned- for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come."
Death reigned over all, even those who did not break God's commandments. Death came to all men because they were born with a sin nature. The absence of law did not save them from death.
5:15-17 "But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ."
All of us are condemned by Adam's sin. Everyone who has been born on this earth, (excluding Christ) has been born with a sin nature. All of us face death because of one sin. But grace is not like the sin. One man (Christ) has brought life to all. One gift has covered everyone's sin. Sin came into the world through Adam and death was conquered by Christ's finished work on the cross.
5:18-19 "Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous."
Wow!
5:20-21 "The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
It was the law that made our sins greater and more numerous. But this was done so that grace may be even greater than all our sin.
5:12-14 "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned- for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come."
Death reigned over all, even those who did not break God's commandments. Death came to all men because they were born with a sin nature. The absence of law did not save them from death.
5:15-17 "But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ."
All of us are condemned by Adam's sin. Everyone who has been born on this earth, (excluding Christ) has been born with a sin nature. All of us face death because of one sin. But grace is not like the sin. One man (Christ) has brought life to all. One gift has covered everyone's sin. Sin came into the world through Adam and death was conquered by Christ's finished work on the cross.
5:18-19 "Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous."
Wow!
5:20-21 "The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
It was the law that made our sins greater and more numerous. But this was done so that grace may be even greater than all our sin.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I Want to Be Pursued
I'm old-fashioned. Really old-fashioned. I think that if a guy is interested in me he should pursue me. I'm not going to pursue him or win his heart. It is his job to win my heart. I tell people I court. But the old way of courting involved the guy courting the girl. He went to her house and they sat in the parlor. She didn't go to his house. He was doing the courting and she was letting him court her. I don't go quite to that extreme but I almost do. I think before you actually become boyfriend and girlfriend, the guy does all the asking and pursuing. Once you start a more serious relationship then it is all right for the girl to ask him out as long as he is continuing to ask her out every so often. I want to be pursued. I want a guy who will love me enough to come after me. Is that too much to ask?
Monday, March 17, 2008
My Lover
He keeps on pursuing me. Every time I slip away He comes after me. I have such a perfect Lover. I was so on fire at the start of the year. I was excited about what God has in store for me. Then I lost sight of that and drifted away. But He came after me. He pursued me like no man has ever done and like no man ever will. I have promised to spend time with Him. I promised not to ignore Him. I am giving up movies and TV until May so I will have the time to spend with Him. I don't want to get distracted again. God has so much in store for me. I can't waste anymore time. I need to ready myself so God can use me. I have decided to start memorizing Romans chapter 8 and finish studying through Romans on this blog. But that is just the start.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Lent
I was talking to one of my friends about giving stuff up for lent. It got me thinking about things that I could give up, but I have never observed lent. I think that I am drawn more to the principle of giving something up for God and spending time praying than to lent itself. So I was thinking about what I want to give up for a while. I thought about food first. I thought maybe sugar but then decided that I wanted to be able to eat dessert on my Mother's birthday on the 22nd. I then thought that I should give up watching TV and movies for a couple weeks or so. Now that will be a hard thing to do. There are two shows that I like watching every week and I have been watching at least two movies every week. But that might be the best thing for me to give up. It will give me time that I can spend studying. It also will give me time that I can spend praying and reading my Bible. Perhaps I should do this for a month. But why do I feel so reluctant? Has the TV taken over my life? Has it become an idol to me? Now I feel like I have to give TV up. I have to get it out of my life. At least for a while.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Second Month In
I have been doing my new exercises of weight training, crunches, and walking for two months. I am now using 5 lb dumbbells to do 4 sets of ten triceps kickbacks, 4 sets of ten shoulder presses, and 3 sets of ten bicep curls. Then I use 8 lb dumbbells to do 1 set of ten bicep curls. Then I do forty push ups. I do this routine three days a week. Two days a week I do 100 crunches in sets of ten or twenty. Then on Saturday I have been walking a little over four miles in around an hour and twenty minuets. I want to be doing twice this in a month or two.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Katie Marie Van Duren
I met her at Camp Good News three years ago. This morning I read her obituary in the Tribune. She died last Sunday in the early morning. It was sad to hear of her death but not too shocking. I knew that she suffered from heart and lung problems. She had always been open and matter of fact about it. She had a great sense of humor and was fun to talk to. She participated in almost all of the camp activities so I didn't realize that it was that serious. I didn't know that her sister had died. I looked at the picture in the paper and cried because she was only 13. I know that she has gone to be with Jesus.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
It Breaks His Heart
So here I am having one of those crummy days in which nothing really bad happens but you feel like everything is against you. I missed my walk this morning because I was cleaning the house. I've been doing laundry and homework this afternoon. The rest of my family went to the beach this afternoon. I messed up on my homework problem and had to do it over again. I'm feeling sorry for myself for being so miserable. Then I'm wondering why I didn't ask for God's help. Why did I try to get through my day without Him? It must break His heart when He sees us struggling to do something and being so occupied that we don't take the time to ask for Him to help us. I'm going to go spend some time with God now.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Swing Dancing
I went swing dancing last night with some of my friends. I was dancing with this one guy (he was a really good dancer) when he dipped my at the end of the dance. I laughed because it made me nervous. "I guess that makes me nervous because I have a problem trusting guys", I told him. He understood since we had just met.
So I went home thinking about how you have to trust a guy when you are dancing. You have to trust that he won't drop you when he dips you. I then thought how it compared to trusting God. I have to trust that God won't "drop me". But the difference is that I didn't know the guy but I know God. God is God. God won't let me down or fail me. It is amazing that we can put our trust in such a Mighty God who never fails.
So I went home thinking about how you have to trust a guy when you are dancing. You have to trust that he won't drop you when he dips you. I then thought how it compared to trusting God. I have to trust that God won't "drop me". But the difference is that I didn't know the guy but I know God. God is God. God won't let me down or fail me. It is amazing that we can put our trust in such a Mighty God who never fails.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Walking Around
I've been going on long walks around Nipomo. I always take Belle (my brother's dog) and my cell phone (just in case something happens and I need help). Today I went on my longest walk yet which lasted for an hour and a half (I have gone on longer hikes but this is my longest walk by myself). I walked a little over four miles. I really like walking. It is fun and you are actually going someplace. The weather was beautiful today. I want to eventually walk ten miles each Saturday.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
CSU Fullerton
I just applied to CSU Fullerton. I'm a little nervous and I hope I get accepted. If I get accepted then I will most likely be moving down to Fullerton this fall. I didn't have enough units so I will have to do summer school. I am taking nine units now and am going to sign up for six more units this spring and six more in the summer. So I'll be busy. I also have to earn some spending money for when I move down. My father said he would pay my tuition. I am so grateful to him. I still have a lot of work and then a lot of planning to do. But I'm looking forward to this next part of my life. I had a feeling that my life would drastically change this year and now it looks like it is going to.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Legal Murder
I gave this speech in class last week and it turned out good. So I thought I would post it here for everyone to read.
Disposable People
America is a wasteful society. We have disposable dishes, paper towels, and diapers. We throw away vast amounts of stuff everyday. But stuff is not the only thing we throw away. Let me tell you about what I call the disposable people. Disposable people are those that are thrown away because no one wants them. I am talking about abortion and euthanasia.
So what is the problem with abortion? Abortion is the leading cause of death claiming about 3,700 victims everyday. That is 1.3 million abortions per year. Over 40 million babies have been aborted since 1973. This far out numbers all soldier fatalities going back to the revolutionary war. 1/3 of people are being aborted. We could have killed the next Einstin, or delayed finding the cure for cancer and AIDS. So why are these babies being aborted? 93% of abortions are because the baby is unwanted or the timing is “inconvenient”.
Euthanasia is not yet legal in the United States but people are trying to legalize it. Euthanasia is killing a patient who is suffering and going to die anyway. Sometimes the overdose of medication is given to the patient so he can end his life if he chooses and other times it is the family that decides when the Doctor should mercifully end the life of the patient. Physician assisted suicide is legal in Oregon where a Doctor can prescribe a lethal dose of medication to a patient who is terminally ill and wishes to end their life.
Duet 30:19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live
Euthanasia brings several questions to mind. Are terminally people in the right frame of mind to be making the decision? What keeps Euthanasia from getting out of hand? Will euthanizing children be made legal?
We must make sure that we do not end up like Germany under Hitler. Hitler killed Jews, Christians, and anyone who did not fit into his “perfect race”. My Grandmother remembers one day when they took all the handicapped people away and killed them just for being defective.
Our future relies on the unborn children. They are our future Doctors, Scientists, and leaders.
So what can we do to stop this? Raise people’s awareness and vote when these issues come up. Put an end to legal murder and stop abortion and Euthanasia.
But overall we must value all life and put an end to disposable people.
Disposable People
America is a wasteful society. We have disposable dishes, paper towels, and diapers. We throw away vast amounts of stuff everyday. But stuff is not the only thing we throw away. Let me tell you about what I call the disposable people. Disposable people are those that are thrown away because no one wants them. I am talking about abortion and euthanasia.
So what is the problem with abortion? Abortion is the leading cause of death claiming about 3,700 victims everyday. That is 1.3 million abortions per year. Over 40 million babies have been aborted since 1973. This far out numbers all soldier fatalities going back to the revolutionary war. 1/3 of people are being aborted. We could have killed the next Einstin, or delayed finding the cure for cancer and AIDS. So why are these babies being aborted? 93% of abortions are because the baby is unwanted or the timing is “inconvenient”.
Euthanasia is not yet legal in the United States but people are trying to legalize it. Euthanasia is killing a patient who is suffering and going to die anyway. Sometimes the overdose of medication is given to the patient so he can end his life if he chooses and other times it is the family that decides when the Doctor should mercifully end the life of the patient. Physician assisted suicide is legal in Oregon where a Doctor can prescribe a lethal dose of medication to a patient who is terminally ill and wishes to end their life.
Duet 30:19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live
Euthanasia brings several questions to mind. Are terminally people in the right frame of mind to be making the decision? What keeps Euthanasia from getting out of hand? Will euthanizing children be made legal?
We must make sure that we do not end up like Germany under Hitler. Hitler killed Jews, Christians, and anyone who did not fit into his “perfect race”. My Grandmother remembers one day when they took all the handicapped people away and killed them just for being defective.
Our future relies on the unborn children. They are our future Doctors, Scientists, and leaders.
So what can we do to stop this? Raise people’s awareness and vote when these issues come up. Put an end to legal murder and stop abortion and Euthanasia.
But overall we must value all life and put an end to disposable people.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Empty
Why am I left feeling so empty? Why am I so sad? Is it selfish for me to want more? I feel like I'm going to cry. I feel like it is all a big mistake. I don't want to have to risk it. I just want to feel good inside. I don't want to feel empty inside.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Grades
Yeah! Finally all my grades for last semester are available. I got three A's and three B's. I am totally excited about getting an A in college algebra. Hooray!
Monday, January 7, 2008
From The Inside Out
I wanted to put these lyrics up a while ago. I have failed over and over but God's mercy is always there.
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
Thursday, January 3, 2008
New Years 2008
This year has gotten off to a great start! I think it is amazing how my family started this year on the right track with prayer. We pray every New Year's Eve, but this year we also had an awesome prayer time on the 1st. I thought it was really cool to be praying. Then yesterday I had this conversation with a classmate. She opened up and shared a lot of stuff about her past. I encouraged her to find a church and other believers. I know that it was a divine encounter. Last night when I went to pick Daniel up from youth group they were still singing. One of the songs was about giving our whole life to the Lord. It was the first time I could sing about giving everything to God with truth. I always want to hold onto things, but last night I felt free. I just want this year to be one that I will spend in prayer. I understand that I can't do anything without God. But I also understand that I have to do things. I can't live my life not doing things out of fear. God, I surrender all. This is the first time I mean it with all my heart.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Looking Backwards and Forwards
The year 2007 was a great year. It had many ups and downs but overall I learned a lot. My family left our church in January. Since then we have found a new church and I have made some new friends there. I have gotten involved in a small group that is a real blessing.
School has gone okay. I had a easier semester in the spring and a stressful fall semester.
I met a lot of great people and developed deeper friendships. I made a stupid mistake that God turned out good. I entered into a relationship with someone that I shouldn't have. I ended up hurting him a lot. But I think God used it to teach me some important things. There is a guy at church that I think may be interested in me.
The year 2008 is going to be one of great adventure. I have a lot of praying to do about that guy. I want to be in God's will.
I am looking forward to another great year in the martial arts. I love teaching karate. I am starting a new class this year.
I am looking forward to another semester at Hancock. I will miss Brian and Michelle because they have transfered. But I will meet new people and develop new relationships. I have great friends.
This year scares me because I know that it holds many new things. But with God holding my hand I know that I'll be able to walk.
I learned a few very important things this last year.
1. Friends may come and go and guys may come and go but family is forever. My family may have problems but they are always there for me.
2. God is love and God is just. I have realized the simple truth that because God is love He wants to save us and because He is just someone had to take the punishment. Christ took our sins upon Himself and died so we might live.
3. Everything is temporary...except for God.
4. I don't have to know the future. I only have to know God's will for today. I need to learn to walk day by day holding onto God hand.
5. Relationships with people are risky. But I have to take risks. I have to learn to hold onto God as I enter into deeper relationships so when I fall He will hold me up.
6. God loves me. That is so amazing. He loves me no matter what I say or do. He loves me forever. He shows me love every day. He loves me more than anybody does. He loves me more than I can ever love someone. God loves me more than I can imagine. God is Love.
School has gone okay. I had a easier semester in the spring and a stressful fall semester.
I met a lot of great people and developed deeper friendships. I made a stupid mistake that God turned out good. I entered into a relationship with someone that I shouldn't have. I ended up hurting him a lot. But I think God used it to teach me some important things. There is a guy at church that I think may be interested in me.
The year 2008 is going to be one of great adventure. I have a lot of praying to do about that guy. I want to be in God's will.
I am looking forward to another great year in the martial arts. I love teaching karate. I am starting a new class this year.
I am looking forward to another semester at Hancock. I will miss Brian and Michelle because they have transfered. But I will meet new people and develop new relationships. I have great friends.
This year scares me because I know that it holds many new things. But with God holding my hand I know that I'll be able to walk.
I learned a few very important things this last year.
1. Friends may come and go and guys may come and go but family is forever. My family may have problems but they are always there for me.
2. God is love and God is just. I have realized the simple truth that because God is love He wants to save us and because He is just someone had to take the punishment. Christ took our sins upon Himself and died so we might live.
3. Everything is temporary...except for God.
4. I don't have to know the future. I only have to know God's will for today. I need to learn to walk day by day holding onto God hand.
5. Relationships with people are risky. But I have to take risks. I have to learn to hold onto God as I enter into deeper relationships so when I fall He will hold me up.
6. God loves me. That is so amazing. He loves me no matter what I say or do. He loves me forever. He shows me love every day. He loves me more than anybody does. He loves me more than I can ever love someone. God loves me more than I can imagine. God is Love.
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