Sunday, May 4, 2008

Lord, Consume Me

My family is looking for a church again. I want to be part of a church that does things together. When I worship, I want to see others worshiping. I want to feel like I belong and am needed there.

My parents are out of town this weekend. I decided to take three of my younger brothers and visit the First Assembly of God in the next town over. So I woke up this morning and confessed my sin to God. Then a song popped into my head. A thousand times I've failed but still Your mercy remains.... I got ready for church and then drove there with my brothers. People were friendly. Worship started. Some of the songs I didn't know but some I did. The last song started playing and I thought I recognized the tune. Then the lyrics were projected on the screen A thousand times I've failed and still Your mercy remains.... I knew God was trying to tell me something. I don't think it was a coincidence. I nearly broke down crying when I got to: from the inside out Lord my soul cries out..... Why can't God break and humble you without making you cry in front of people? I broke down. God's grace and mercy covers all. I know that God has been saying that He wants me now. Not when I feel like it. Not when I have found a church. Not when I move this fall. He wants me now. I was touched by the worship and the sermon. The pastor preached on Jonah chapter four. He talked about anger and depression and joy and thanksgiving. I want to go back but most of all I want God to consume me from the inside out.

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