Summary of 2009

I thought it would be interesting to read through this year's blog posts as I think over this past year. I'm going to be summarizing some of the posts that really stand out.

Passion For The Cross And The One Who Died

Why are so many Christians passive when it comes to their relationship with Christ?

If the unbelievers can die for their false beliefs, why can't we die for the truth? If the unbeliever can sin boldly, why can't we declare God's love boldly? If people can be passionate about their spouses and partners, why can't we be even more passionate about the One who gave everything.

The time has come to stand up for what we believe in. We cannot hide in our prayer closets anymore. We must spread the Good News. The lost are looking for something better so start acting like you possess something better. If we don't act like God is the best than why would anyone want Him?


Jesus Did Way More Than Just Dying
I was thinking of the crucifixion of my Lord this morning. We all know that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. But I want us all to ponder what He really did.

1. He died physically.

2. He took the sins of the world upon Himself.

3. God turned His back on Him.

Jesus didn't just die on the cross, He did way more. Next time you think of the cross think about what Jesus did for you and for me.



My Hope Is In Christ Jesus
For some reason I've decided to share my heart today.

I've been having a rough time this semester. My Daddy's been sick since September last year and he will have to get surgery.

It has been hard to focus on studying.

I've been struggling a lot with my old sins. I waste a lot of time also. I've also been struggling with lack of passion for God. I want more of Him but I don't feel that same passion as before.

Then there is all the stuff that I can't talk about. I think that stuff is burdening me more that anything else. I can't talk about it because it is stuff that people have sworn me to secrecy about. Some of it gives me heartache while some of it just burdens me.

God is bringing me through all the pain and hurt. He is my only hope. God is the only thing worth living for. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job living for God but His grace covers over a multitude of sins. Jesus is not only life, He is my life. In Him I live and move and have my being.


Those Who Hope in The Lord
This post is a follow up on My Hope Is In Christ Jesus.

My Daddy had his surgery last week. It went very well.

I've been a little more motivated to study.

I've found new strength in God to resist the devil. I have been spending more time with God. Not formal sit down and read/pray time but informal walking around and talking time.

About all that stuff I can't talk about. I still can't talk about it. But I have brought it to God and given it up to Him. I have been calling on Him daily to help me through this time in my life. It is a hard time for me. But God is good.

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.


Do You Love Your Church More Than God?

Well last night during church this question came into my head. Do I love my church more than God? If I felt like my church was doing something irreverent would I leave? Or would I stay because I love the people. Do I love God more than the people? This is a easy question because I know the right one. I love God more. But this is a hard question because do I really love Him more?

The final question that I am asking myself is: Do I love God enough to leave my church? The answer is yes! A few months ago God had me surrendering my family to Him and I can definitely give my church up to Him. The only thing left to do is to pray. I need to pray that God will reveal His will to me and let me know what He wants me to do.


Whatever You're Doing...
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender...


My Daddy
My Daddy is one of the greatest men that I know. He is a very strong man with great principles. He is a man of integrity and honor. My Daddy is faithful and loving. He is a humble man. I admire him greatly because of his character.

He was very sick this year. The lessons that I learned from him during his time of sickness are valuable.

I learned that my Daddy:

1. Receives his strength from God.
2. Has the greatest work ethic that I have heard about.
3. Loves me.

I think my Daddy is the best Daddy in the world! I am so glad that he is better now. God has healed him from his sickness and has given him new strength.



Not of This World
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and I'm from some planet far far away."

I'm not of this world. This world is not my home, heaven is. Because I have stored treasures up in heaven, that is where my heart and my home is. But sometimes it is easy to forget where I belong and start acting like I belong in this world. And that is when I get myself into trouble.

Remember that God calls us to live in the world but not to be of the world. The world and its desires pass away but the man who does the will of God will live forever.

Oh well...

What I wanted to accomplish this year...

-Listen to God and do His will
-Read through the entire Bible (I have never done this before)
-Tell others about Jesus. Witness on my campus.
-Know God more. Love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
-Keep a 3.5 (or higher) GPA
-Get involved at my church
-Write more poetry
-Write a few songs
-Write more of my book
-Live out my destiny!

I believe that I listened to God but I didn't always do His will. I didn't read through the entire Bible. I did talk about Jesus but I didn't do much witnessing. I believe that I do know God more. I know more about His grace, love and forgiveness. I think my GPA dropped below 3.5 after this last semester but I don't know for sure until I get all my grades back. I ended up leaving my church. I wrote more poetry/songs but didn't write more of my book. I may seem like a failure but God's grace is way bigger than me.

Merry Christmas

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Well, the semester is over...

This last semester was an interesting one. For some reason I didn't care much about my grades. But I realized at the end of the semester that it was a really fun one. I learned a lot that applied to my life. I had some great professors who were amazing teachers. I'm looking forward to the next semester. I hope to meet new people and make new friends as well as learning more about the most fascinating organism on the earth, the human.

Not of This World

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and I'm from some planet far far away."

I like to say this to be funny and explain why I just don't get certain cultural things. Being an alien explains why I don't know anything about sports or music or popular people. I don't always understand why people think the way that they do or act the way that they do.

But as I was thinking about this I realized that I am correct. I'm not of this world. This world is not my home, heaven is. Because I have stored treasures up in heaven, that is where my heart and my home is. But sometimes it is easy to forget where I belong and start acting like I belong in this world. And that is when I get myself into trouble.

Remember that God calls us to live in the world but not to be of the world. The world and its desires pass away but the man who does the will of God will live forever. Amen!

Frying Pan

I am the proud owner of a new frying pan. I never thought I'd get this excited about a pan.

Yesterday, my roommate and I were shopping and realized that we were limited on foods because we each had only a small pot. So we looked at frying pans and found a cheap one. I decided to buy it on a whim. I thought about it quickly and realized that it would be a useful thing to buy. After I bought my frying pan, I got so excited. I don't fully understand why.

I also find it interesting that I wear Teflon on my lenses and now have a Teflon coating on my pan.

The Joy of Music

Earlier this evening I went to a Christmas music program at Hope. It reminded me of the joy that comes from music and worship. It made me thing back. I feel like my worship is not like it was. Just last year I was dancing in worship at my old church. I miss that now. I miss the abandonment and freedom. I miss giving my whole heart and soul. I miss the experience and the celebration.

Something has to change in my life. I need to devote myself to worship. I want to abandon myself and with freedom go crazy for God but something is holding me back. I wish I could experience that joy again.

I'm Here Again

I think it started yesterday when I looked at a picture of a friend on facebook who is pregnant. It started to pull a feeling out of the depths of my heart, a yearning that has always been there. It made me realize how single I am and how far away from marriage that I feel. I suppose most women have a natural desire to have babies. But for me it seems like the desire won't be fulfilled for a long time.

So for now I just wait with an ache in my heart. I wait for the part of my life that is missing, the part that wants to be filled.

Finals are approaching

I have this project due for my sport psychology class. It consists of five videos and five papers explaining about concepts and how the videos relate to them. It is due on Monday. After I finish, I can focus on my finals. I have my finals for the one unit classes next week and the rest of my finals are the week after.