What Is The Point?

People tell me I have to go to college.

I say, why do I have to go to college?

They say, so you can get a good job.

I teach karate. I like teaching karate. I want to teach karate. Why do I need to spend all the time to get a degree if I'm never going to use it.

But you need a good job that will make money.

Why do I have to make lots of money? What is life? Is it going to college so you can get a degree so you can get a good job so you can make lots of money so you can buy lots of stuff and go to lots of places so you can be very happy so you can have kids so they can go to college so they can get a degree so they can get a good job so they can make lots of money.........? I would like to think that life is about living for God not about money. I really don't care about money right now. I just want to teach karate and make enough to support myself in a humble fashion. I want to serve in my church. I want to have time for relationships. Isn't that what life is about? Relationships. Our relationship with God should be most important and relationships with others should have priority over everything else. I want to do what God wants. I'm not sure what He wants right now. But I don't feel led or excited to go to college. Am I off based? Are my ideas wacky? Am I wrong for thinking this way?

Knee Surgery

My brother Isaac (17) injured his knee and tore a ligament last week. He needs to have surgery to attach the ligament. Isaac is already restless. The surgery is going to be on the 29th of this month. It will be three to six months recovery. He won't be able to work or do much. It is going to be hard for him to take it easy and hold back.

Purity Ring

I have been thinking of my purity ring that I wear on the ring finger of my left hand. It is a small silver ring shaped into a design with a heart and a cross in the center. The ring symbolizes that I will save sex for marriage. But it means far more than that. It stands for all the promises that I have made to God.

#1 I will love Him and follow Him forever. God is first in my life and will always be. He created love and He is Love.
#2 God has chosen someone for me to marry. I have promised to wait for him sexually, emotionally and spiritually. I will not have sex or even kiss until I am married.
#3 I will live a life of purity because that is what God has required of me.
#4 I will treat young men as brothers and not play with their hearts.

And above all it has come to symbolize waiting. I must wait. I wait for my husband to be. I wait for God. I wait for Jesus to come. I wait to see His face. I wait for the day I will be pure before God. I wait for the wedding feast. I wait.

Aches and Pains

I have scoliosis which is a curve in the spine from side to side. My back has been more sore than usual for the past couple of weeks. My neck has been really sore and keeps on going out. When my back and neck are "out of whack" I sometimes get shooting nerve pain. It feels like a pinch in my lower back. I have been getting really discouraged recently. I wonder if I will have this back pain for the rest of my life. I wonder how bad it will get when I become pregnant someday. But pain won't stop me from having kids.

Can God heal me? Can He straighten my spine and make it new? I don't know if it is God's will to heal me and stop my pain. But I know that God will get me through this. I know that He will help me and give me strength.

My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I actually went to a friends birthday party last night. She is turning 18 tomorrow. She had a great party. It was a lot of fun.

I went dancing the night before. I had wanted to go line dancing again so I went up to the Grad on country and line dancing night. Three of my friends came but no guy friends came. They were all busy. But I had a lot of fun. Guys were asking me to dance so I had plenty of dances. I want to go again soon. Dancing is now one of my favorite things to do. I had a great birthday!

I'm already planning for next year. I want to have a huge party and invite all my friends.

I feel trapped in a snare. I'm so busy with school but I want to do something for God. I want to do something at church and help with the youth group but I'm too busy. I feel awful that I'm not tithing. But I'm not working. I wish I could earn money so I could tithe. I want to do something at church besides handing out bulitons. I feel too busy to be friends with anyone. Why did I sign up for twenty units? I think it was one of the biggest mistakes I have made. I am so focused on school that I feel miserable that I'm spending more time reading my history book than the Bible.

Help! I'm drowning.

School has been keeping me busy and giving me lots of stress. I've had tons of homework. I have at least one test every week. I feel as if I am drowning in textbooks and homework. I'm frightened that I won't pass my classes or get a C. I've gotten mostly A's and B's in the past. So a C is pretty bad for me. I feel so overwhelmed.