A New Butterfly

Tiny came out of her chrysalis today. She is absolutely beautiful. Metamorphosis is such an amazing miracle. It shows how God has the power to change anything that He wishes. He can take something ordinary like a caterpillar and turn it into something extraordinary. I didn't get to see her emerge from her chrysalis but I still feel like I got to witness a miracle. God has given Tiny a new beginning.

The day is beautiful but not just because of Tiny. I have been nauseous and my stomach has been bothering me for over a month. This last weekend I went to the emergency room because I started throwing up. I was getting really discouraged and wondered if I would ever be able to enjoy food instead of eating it tentatively expecting to get sick from it. My boyfriend and another friend took care of me. I was not alone because I had them and God with me. Family and friends prayed for me and today I'm feeling better than I have for over a week. God is bringing healing to my body. I'm not back to normal but I know that if I take care of myself I will continue on this road to good health. So today is not just a new beginning for Tiny but it is a new beginning for me.

Butterflies

Last week my boyfriend gave me a small painted lady caterpillar. (I decided that it was a girl.) When I first looked at her I couldn't come up with a name. I knew that she had great potential even though she was just a tiny caterpillar. Some day she will be a beautiful butterfly. I decided to name her Tiny. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was amazing to think that such a little thing that crawls around could become a beautiful butterfly with wings. Over the past week I have watched Tiny grow and grow until she became a big caterpillar. As I watched her grow I thought about metamorphosis (the process of changing into a butterfly.)

There are two times in my life that I went through a sort of metamorphosis. The first was when I was born. Before I was born my mother couldn't see me but she knew that she had a beautiful baby growing inside of her. She had no idea what I would look like but knew that God had amazing plans for me some day. My mother knew that I had great potential. The second time was when I accepted Christ as my Saviour. The old self is gone and the new self is come. The caterpillar in me died and the butterfly was born. I think the butterfly is an amazing illustration of being born again. We are still the same person but different at the same time. It is not until we are born again that we can reach our full potential.

There is a third metamorphosis that is still to come. When I die (or Christ comes back and calls me home) I will be given a new body. This resurrection body is going to be beautiful and amazing. I'm not sure what I will look like but I do know that it is still going to be me. I know that I have not reached my full potential. I know that God has amazing plans for me in this life but He also has great plans for the next life.

Yesterday, Tiny made her chrysalis. She is going through the changing process. I'm looking forward to seeing my little baby come out totally changed into a new creation. I can't wait to see her flutter her wings and fly away when I release her. It is a beautiful thing to look forward to. But I'm also enjoying every moment of the process. Every stage of her life is beautiful to me.

Self Consciousness

This thing called self consciousness is interesting. It keeps people from doing and saying things. When I was younger I was way more self conscious than I am now. The one thing that I regret is that it kept me from enjoying myself at times. I am still self conscious to a degree but I don't care what others think as much as a used to. I do care about their feelings because I don't want to hurt them. But sometimes you end up hurting people more by staying silent or refusing to do something that you think is goofy, childish or just plain crazy. I think it is more important to be yourself. When you are yourself people can see that you are not perfect and they appreciate who you are. I consider my best friends to be the ones that I am comfortable being myself around them. The friends who I can act crazy with. My best friends are the ones who I don't have to worry about them getting upset over something careless that I said or did. They understand that my intentions toward them are good.

My challenge to you is this: let down your guard and have fun.

Step By Step

In October 2008 I posted this

http://miriamthemouse.blogspot.com/2008/10/jesus-freak.html

I also changed my about me blurb to "I am a young woman who is crazy in love with Jesus and willing to follow Him anywhere."

I have been dwelling on this recently. My one desire is to do the will of God. If God wants me to go I will go and if God wants me to stay then I will stay. I think that I have finally come to the point where I am ready to go wherever he leads. But I struggle with not knowing where I am headed. It is as if I can only see a few steps ahead. I know that I am on the right path but I can't see into the future. I have no idea how my life is going to change. It is hard to have faith that God will continue to show me the way. I guess I'm just frightened that one day I will be at a place with roads heading off in many different directions and will not know which one to chose. I'm afraid that I will be left stranded in a helpless state not knowing where to go.

So I have to remind myself that God will never leave me. I have to remind myself that God is going to show the way. I just have to take life one step of faith at a time while trusting that God will lead me. It's scary not to see ahead but I have the confidence that God will keep holding my hand throughout the journey.