First Week of School

My first week of school went quite well. I am taking six classes which add up to sixteen units. I'm taking Intro to Kinesiology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, History and Philosophy of Human Movement, College Writing, Measurements and Statistics in Kines, and Aikido. My Aikido class is very interesting and fun. It is nice to be a beginning student again. My hardest class this semester is going to be Anatomy and Physiology.

I got a job at the Titan Recreation Center. I'm a substitute drop-in fitness instructor. I watched a few classes this week to get an idea of what is going on. I feel ready to teach whenever I get called in. I hope I can work at least one hour every week or two. I need to get another job. But it is hard to find jobs because everyone is looking for one and most places aren't hiring.

I went to the Rec Center and participated in a Martial Arts Fitness class last night. I had a great time. I had not realized how much I had missed the dojo. It felt good to work out.

This weekend is going to be tough for me. I already feel a little lonely and homesick. I don't have any homework due. I am going to read ahead and start working on some of my assignments to pass the time. I don't have any plans but I hope to make some. I'm sitting here at the computer feeling alone. It's weird. When I was at home I would want my alone time and I treasured it. Now I wish I wasn't alone. I want to hang out with my family and have the closeness that only happens between family members. But God is with me. He has never left me. These days I am forced to depend on God for comfort and companionship. That is good.

Dear God, draw me close and hold me. My heart aches for I am lonely. Comfort me and love me. I love You. I thank You for everything. You are my Lord and my Lover. I praise You for You are truly great!

I'm Okay

It's better than I thought it would be. I had a much better weekend than I thought I would have. I checked in on Saturday and then raced at break neck speed (not really) to get to the tournament. I ended up seeing my cousins compete. I judged and competed in kata and kumite. I decided to skip orientation and went to visit my cousins instead.

When I got back to my dorm I met one of my roommates. She is the coolest person! Of course I think a bunch of my friends are the coolest people. We hit it off right from the start. I unpacked my stuff and went to bed. I woke up in the morning feeling really homesick. I called my parents and cried on the phone. Then I went to church. It was amazing. My brother's girlfriend arrived a few minutes after I did. When the music started the pastor's daughter started dancing. It was the most beautiful thing that I had seen. I cried because it was beautiful and because I had been missing worship so much. I hung on every word the pastor said. I am so hungry for God. It is amazing to go to a church and have people pray for you like you are the most special person in the world. That is how I felt. My prayer for this school year is to have the greatest hunger and thirst for God. My prayer is that God will fill me with His Spirit and His burning fire.

I've had an awesome week. The people here are really nice and the food is good. God is working in me and I'm making friends. I've been hanging out with my older brother and I went to Magic Mountain.

I'm also looking for a job. I applied for a job at CVS Pharmacy. I feel really good about working there. Pray that God will open doors for me and my friend who needs a job more than I do.

Moving

I'm leaving. I thought I would never leave home to go to college but now I am. I am leaving this weekend to move into my dorm. I'll be there a week before school starts. I made up my mind last January to transfer to Cal State Fullerton. Now that it is a reality I am getting scared. I have been depressed at the thought of leaving home. I'm going to miss my family a lot. I'm also going to miss everyone at the dojo. My going away party was last weekend. It hit me real hard. I'm actually leaving. I know that it won't be too bad when I get there and settle in. But I am still scared at the thought of it all.

There is so much still to do before I leave this weekend. I have finished most of my shopping. I'm packing my things this week. I'll be cleaning my room from top to bottom on Thursday in order to leave it cleaner than it has been in a long time.

There are things that I am looking forward to. I'm looking forward to making new friends. I'm looking forward to new experiences and learning new things. I'll be missing a lot back home but I'll be doing and experiencing enough new things to make up for it. At least that is what I tell myself.

Cry Out

I need pray. I feel distant from God. I'm not spending much time with Him yet I crave fellowship. Since we have stopped going to church as a family I have craved church like I never have before. I love the hymns and songs. I love singing and praising the Lord but I don't do this anymore. I am not being fed so I stopped reaching out. I stopped reaching out to God. I know this is my own fault. God has not stopped loving me and just because I'm not going to church doesn't mean I can't worship God on my own. But it is hard. I go for the immediate pleasure instead of reading the Bible or praying. I spend my spare time watching movies and playing on the computer. Besides teaching karate I feel meaningless. Like I am not doing anything of value. I need revival deep in my soul. I need a burning passion for my Lord. Pray for me. Pray that God will give me love.