Made To Love

Toby Mac - Made To Love
From the album Portable Sounds

The dream is fading now I am staring at the door
I know it�s over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feeling what I see
It's no mystery

What ever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget�

Chorus:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You'd keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You

The dreams alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin� for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin� vapors on my dreams
But I still believe�

I'm reachin� out, reachin� up, reachin� over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I'm on my way�

Chorus:

Anything I would give up for You
Everything I give it all away

Hot Sauce

One of my brothers (Daniel) dared my brother Isaac to put three drops of World's Hottest Hot Sauce on his burrito a couple nights ago. Isaac took the dare and I decided to also. How hot could three drops be? So I carefully spread three drops on a tortilla, put meat and cheese and sour cream on it, rolled it up and took a bite. That was the hottest thing I have ever eaten. It burned. I didn't even finish the burrito. I drank two glasses of milk trying to cool off my mouth. I was crying it was so hot. Well I won't take a dare to eat spicy food again. I think my tongue still feels the effects from the hot sauce. Well maybe not.

Studying

I've been studying the whole afternoon. First I studied for my Psychology test in the morning, then for my second Basic Health test, which I'll be able to take as soon as Hancock's website is working, then I read a chapter in my US History book. I think I'm pretty much ready for my test tomorrow. I'm getting sick so I hope I'll feel okay. I want to spend the rest of the week trying to work ahead and take as many history tests as I can.

Enough

All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

More than all I am
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Night Dune Hike

Last night my Uncle, Aunt, and cousins were camping at the Oceano Dunes and we went to hang out with them. After roasting hotdogs we decided to go on a hike through the dunes. So off we went taking turns carrying James, Jeremiah, and Abigail. Abigail did some walking herself. It was a beautiful night and the weather was perfect. It was so nice walking and climbing up the dunes. I think I would like to go sometime with my friends. But next time I don't think I'll carry anybody.

Struggling

Why is it so hard to stay on the narrow path? It is as if I feel like demons are dragging me down while I struggle to stand. It is a struggle that keeps on going. Satan gets a foothold in my life and controls an area, then his foot slips as God holds me up. Then Satan regains his foothold. It is such a struggle. I want to do good but my flesh wants to fulfill short term desires. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." (Bible) I thought I had won for a while. But Satan keeps on attacking in the same spot while it is still weak from the last attack. God deliever me!

Relationships

Here I am today feeling rather lonely. How can I feel lonely when I have a big family? Why do I feel like something or someone is missing? Ever since I can remember I've wanted kids. The desire has grown stronger as I've gotten older. I see the relationship that my Mother has with us and want that for myself. It is a desire that is so strong. I feel like part of me is missing. Recently my desire for marriage has deepened. But I don't understand marriage. The more I think about it the more it is a mystery to me. I see many marriages around me, both good and bad. But I don't fully comprehend the bond between a man and a woman. It is something so powerful yet so mysterious that it baffles me. I guess I understand the bond between a Mother and child because I experience it from the child's point of view. But marriage scares me deep inside. How can I desire something, yet fear it?

God has put desires into my heart. Some of these desires I can satisfy on earth, but there is one desire that cannot be satisfied. To put it in simple words: I want to see Jesus. I want to see Jesus more than anything. I am lonely because I need to be closer to Jesus. If I was fully satisfied and perfect then I wouldn't need Jesus. But I am a child who is struggling. I need Jesus more than anything in this world. I think that by waiting for a husband and children I learn to wait for Jesus.

Boyfriends

Why do christians date non-christians? This is easy for me to ask because I've never "fallen in love" with a non-believer. God says we should not be unequally yoked. If you are not supposed to marry non-christians then why date them? Why date at all? What are the benefits of dating? Yes, I have this urge to flirt and date with guys but I restrain myself. Flirting and dating lead to misunderstanding and breakups. I know you can learn from relationships. I have learned much about myself. I guess I just wish for a world where you meet your man, fall in love and get married. I want God to just point to him now and say there he is. But it is not that easy. And while I wait for him I have to trust in God and wait. This life is all about waiting.

Looking Forward to School

School starts on the 20th. I still have to buy my textbooks. I'm looking forward to school. I like the schedule that school gives me. I also like hanging out with friends and meeting new people. But unfortunately I won't have as much time this semester because I will be taking twenty units.

World Championships 2007

I had a great time at the USKA World Championships in New Orleans, Louisiana. The competition went very well and lasted over the course of four days. I competed in four events. I placed fourth in sparring and fourth in team sparring. I won third in weapons and third in kata.